How Do You Understand Religious Perspectives and Beliefs in Relationships?

I think for me, over all, i can understand hannah's faith. Even when we had her falling out, like i understood what she was saying. I grew up learning the exact same thing, so i understood it. It just was painful to realize, me thinking that she hated me and how much then i hated myself for the exact same reasons. And i think now i overall, jus struggle with organized christianity because to me, it holds so much pain. Because my relationship with a god is like brely. That's also really rocky. And it just everything in me like stops and i go in like fighter flight boat. Yes, i hear you. How about