Social: strategic vulnerability and boundaries

This week is an update of Episode #21, which was entitled “Taking Care of You During a Job Transition,” with guest Jenn Swanson.

Today’s update will be my content on managing the mental, physical, social, and spiritual aspects of a job search. While there is value in this content for those of you who remain employed while looking for a new role, it is specifically tailored to those who find themselves unemployed for some period of time.

I want to frame today’s content as the “basic” information you can find anywhere, vs. the deep dive I’m going to offer you.

I want to offer this ray of hope: Over and over again, clients tell me their professional lives are much better after they’ve landed a new role. They often realize that they weren’t happy in their old role – they were just comfortable. And in some cases, complacent and slightly bored.

I want to start by acknowledging that a job search can be a form of an identity crisis, especially for those of you who are high achievers. This is especially true if you find yourself engaging in a job search that is not of your choosing.

We are going to talk about Asset Management – and you are the asset. If the asset depreciates during your job search, your market value drops. Therefore, we are going to talk about taking care of yourself during this transition not as self-care, but as performance strategy that will keep your market value high.

The Mental Aspect: Cognitive Budgeting & Identity Preservation

The basic advice here is “Think positive thoughts.” Instead, we’re going to frame this as Managing Your Cognitive Load and Identity Separation.

High achievers often merge "Who I am" with "What I do." When "What I do" pauses, "Who I am" collapses.

Here’s a strategy: Create a specific persona for the job searcher version of you (e.g., "Consultant [Name]"). Your job as a Consultant is to find your next job.

When you close the laptop at 5:00 PM, you literally "clock out" of that persona. You are not unemployed; you are between contracts.

Another issue you may face in your job search is Decision Fatigue Management. You are forced to make hundreds of micro-decisions daily during your job search, such as Should I apply? Is this email good? Should I connect with him/her?). This drains the executive function thinking needed for networking, interviews, and major decisions.

Here’s a strategy: The "No-Decision" Morning. Automate the first 90 minutes of your day. Same breakfast, same workout, same prioritized task list prepared the night before. Save your decision-making points for the high-leverage activities like networking and interviewing.

The Physical Aspect: Nervous System Regulation

The basic advice here is “Go to the gym and eat well." Instead, we’re going to frame this as Managing Cortisol and the Fight-or-Flight Response.

High achievers run on adrenaline. In a job search, there is no release, such as the launch of a new project or closing a big deal. The adrenaline turns into anxiety.

You want to complete the stress cycle. Instead of sitting at your computer waiting for an email – when your body thinks it’s being hunted, but you aren’t moving – conduct a “Post-Rejection Sprint.” If you get a rejection or have a tough networking call, do not sit there. You need a physiological reset. Do 60 seconds of intense movement (burpees, sprint, rapid breathing) to signal to your body that the "threat" has passed.

Another strategy is Voice Anchoring. Before a Zoom interview, introduce "The Doorframe Stretch" and "Low-Tonal Humming" 3 minutes before a call to engage the vagus nerve and lower the vocal pitch, which subconsciously signals authority.

The Social Aspect: Strategic Vulnerability & Boundary Setting

Here’s the basic advice: Network with everyone.” Rather, I want you to engage in the “Deep Dive” Approach, that protects your energy while also leveraging weak connections.

Your friends and family want to help, but their advice is often useless because it is based on what they would do in your situation.

Here’s a strategy: Create a “Specific Ask” script that trains your inner circle. For example: "I appreciate your support. Right now, I don't need tactical advice. What I need is for you to just be my friend and talk about [football/wine/kids] so I can remember I’m a human being."

Another issue faced by high achievers during a job search is feeling “needy,” with constant asking feeling like a drop in status.

As I have talked about numerous times on this podcast, I want you to have an equal exchange of energy with those you network with. Turn the dynamic from begging to trading value.

The Spiritual Aspect: Intuition as Data

Here’s the basic advice: "Have faith,” or “Everything happens for a reason." We’re going to talk about alignment and intuition.

It is critical that you reframe your unemployment not as “lost time” but as a strategic recalibration – an opportunity to assess your career path and trajectory to ensure your ladder is leaning against the right wall.

Our “gut feeling” is actually our brains processing pattern recognition faster than our logic can articulate. Because of this, when you are engaging in job search activities – like looking at a job description or talking with a hiring manager – pay attention to how your body physically responds. Does it expand – lean in or relax – or contract, with a tightened stomach and clenched jaw?

Treat this somatic reaction as hard data, not fluff.

In conclusion, you are the CEO of a company with one employee – You. A good CEO ensures the employee is mentally sharp, physically regulated, socially supported, and spiritually aligned.

My recommendation for those of you who are actively job searching – whether of your own choosing or not – is to choose one tactic from today and implement it this week.

I leave you with this affirmation: “Your worth is not your work. Your value is inherent. The job is just the container where you pour that value for a few years."

The Document & Coaching Package is designed for current job seekers who want world-class marketing documents, a targeted, proactive job search strategy that gets results, and skill-building around how to network, interview, and negotiate compensation. To learn more or to schedule a consult, visit my website at https://theexclusivecareer.com/doccoach or email me at lesa@theexclusivecareer.com.