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Bonus: A Conversation About Tiger King and Rural America

Behind the Bastards

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I Love Reptiles, but I Hate You

As a little kid, I desperately wanted this animal to be my friend. And he had to sit me down and explain that it is not hand-trained ... It will kill you if it gets out and you get close to it. That tail can break a grown man's thigh bone. He would smash you into bits. As an adult, why would you continue to own an animal that hates you that much? Hate you. I get having an animal that's indifferent to your existence because fish are fun, but hates you. Yeah.

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