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AA - The Spiritual Solution Is What You Arrive At
Growing up in a household with an angry father, and where big feelings weren't necessarily something you felt safe to express, you sort of deadened those nerve endings a bit. It sounds like drugs and alcohol were a way for you to re-engage with the world and feel connected to your world but in a way that felt somehow safer. And actually, what you were doing was further disconnecting from life. I think this is what makes certain people more likely to become an alcoholic or addict.