The Day I Punched a Pigeon in Zurich

This is a story of misplaced enthusiasm and mediocre fire safety. But to me, it will always be the day I punched a pigeon in Zurich. Do not join academia. Do not go into academia. You will be killed. Do punch a pigeon. It's a practice. That's why bitch. We were invited. Yes. The tail comes from a far more sinister place where 40 hour weeks or scoff that we're extracting value from the youngest highest priority are an easily circumvented nuisance. My current job involves determining what brown goop Carl the chemist is scraped off the inside of his reaction vessel today. Wait a minute, wouldn't it rather a spectroscopy? Yeah, I'm