Navigating Sobriety and Hierarchies in the 12-Step Community

What happens when you’ve spent 22 years walking a sober path—only to realize there are still parts of your soul left unacknowledged and unhealed?

In this deeply personal conversation with Zach Leary, I reflect on how I redefined sobriety through the lens of trauma healing, psychedelics, and self-trust.

For two decades, I’d stayed clean and sober and done the work. But some pieces—especially around sexuality and relationships—stubbornly persisted. Funny as it might sound, it was my first ayahuasca ceremony that actually brought me to a whole new level of recovery and authenticity.

The truth is, the 12 Steps were always meant to bring about a spiritual experience. Psychedelics just gave me a different door into that same house. They helped me see the trauma I didn’t even know I was still carrying. And ironically, it was those decades of practicing rigorous surrender that allowed me to yield even deeper to the medicine work and broaden what my spiritual awakening could look like.