He is the true Nickens. He is the true Nickens. He is

the true Nickens. Tony's not racist. Look what he did for me, and I'm a black comedian. When he told that black joke, all I could think of was, I placed last in that watermelon carving competition. I lost to D Madness. Cam got disqualified because he spelled Halloween wrong, got mad, and shaked the watermelon 50 times. We all know Tony won the whole competition. Because you can't beat the gays at arts and crafts, am I right? But it was rigged. I only got safety scissors to carve my watermelon with. I didn't even get a real knife because it's dangerous. But the positive thing is, David Lucas had fruit for the first time. And he loved it. He got all the watermelon in herds. He looked like a diabetic Kool-Aid man. All right, thank you all. That's my time. You know, I forgot

all about that fucking joke. I'm

black. I didn't forget.

All right. Well, it's a cute little Halloween joke. Barack Obama didn't think it was cute but that fucking guy it's a weird week when you could say Barack Obama criticized my joke he said I made a joke about black people eating watermelons that's not true it was a joke about carving watermelons at an all blackblack Halloween party.

The

joke being, of course, that's white.

The brothers, we didn't, I'm not going to do an Obama. What am I, what am I thinking? Can you do an Obama? I can't really, but you kind of, you're like doing a Kramer impression if you said the N-word more.

I'm not allowed to say the N-word in I'm black. His dad is black. Hell yeah, brother. It

is absolutely wild. Giant turkey. I'm confused. So the other guy was on cocaine and you're not. No,

I do energy drinks.

He really does. How many energy drinks have you had today? Three. Wow. Which ones? Was it just Red Bulls? No, I did a Rise Rainbow Sherbert Slept On Flavor.

Can't find it anywhere. And then I shotgun a Red Bull in the bathroom. Because people judge me now and say, Drew, you're going to kill yourself. I'm like, ah. But then I had one down there. You

sipped a Red Bull down there? Yeah,

with the water. I

love it. I love it. You mix some water. You cut it with some water.

Yeah.

I love it, Drew. Just like Tang. Cut it with some water, baby.

Hey, hey, Tang is slept on, dog. You ever put Tang in a Red Bull? It's fucking fantastic. It's a kick in the glass.

In your ass.

Have you ever had raw bread? Come on, Tony. When you think of the raw

bread, what do you picture? Domino's. Pizza. I love their crazy bread. And so, like, I can only imagine. If you don't cook it, it's still fucking delicious. Am I right, Tyler? Yeah, dude.

Oh, my God.

True, what else is going on with you?

So the last couple weeks, I've won two out of three poker tournaments that I played in. Pretty

cool,

right? Pretty good for a dumb guy.

What's some of your tricks? Do you, like, pretend like you're dumber at the table and, like, fuck people up? You, like, play stupid, like, oh, this is a good hand when you're bluffing?

So what I do is I just be my natural self, and they're like, God, he's special needs. We can't really take his money. Right. It works like a fucking charm. And then I get them all, like, bamboozled, and they're like, wow, great story. And then I'm like, oh, bluff. Oh, I got the nuts. I get them. And I can do it for like five to six hours. Comedy's really helped because I can have constant conversation but still concentrate on what's my hand and I can distract them. I love

that. They call

him Big Blind. He doesn't see social cues.

I'm

not autistic. I'm just dumb, dog. Don't do that. I

love it. I beg to differ on that.

Okay. You got a touch with

autism, son. Love it. I got a brain injury, sir. Same thing. Okay.

Yeah, he doesn't exactly have a full house up here, you know what I'm saying? Ah, poker joke! Hell yeah. Drew, I absolutely love you. Thanks for popping in. You are the man. There goes Drew Nickens. On to the next one. Now we got a bucket pull and then we'll do that. Your fourth bucket pull of the night, ladies and gentlemen, goes by the name of Taylor Neely. Here we go. Taylor Neely with a new minute.

Wow, incredible, wonderful. Ladies, let me hear you say hey. Fellas, let me hear you say. I can't hear you! Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, dude, I don't know if you know this, but you're sitting in the kissing section. Yeah, I got to come down there and give you a kiss. No, you're not into it. No one's ever happy to be in the kissing section. Well, how do you think I feel? Now I got to go back there and tell them they're in the anal section. So, pucker up, anal section! You can have that. Who do you guys think would win in a fight? New York City rat? Swallow that hole. Chew that entire glass hole right now. That's my time. Thank you so much. I'm Taylor Neely. Taylor

Neely, ladies and gentlemen. Okay. Did you do some Angel Maldonado's cocaine back there? No. You seem like a wild boy.

Me? No. You're

like... Okay. Tyler Fisher, what do you think about your Adderall-infested younger brother here? I

think I'm the only guy in town that looks like Jeff Foxworthy fuck Macaulay Culkin, all right? You better watch out. Boy, put this on. You'll look just like me. Just tell people you're me. You'll make a ton of money. There

he is. You got a big head. A very tiny head.

I have a huge ass head. My mom had to have a C-section and my head was so big.

Holy shit. Wow.

I know.

Okay. Taylor, this is your first time on the show, right? Yeah. Okay. Welcome, welcome. How long have you been doing stand-up?

Three and a half years.

Where at?

Atlanta.

Atlanta, Georgia. You still live in Atlanta?

No, I moved here in August.

Okay. Well, welcome, welcome. Thank you. What do you love about Austin, Texas?

I like the comedy scene a fuck ton. It's great. It's awesome. I like the... It's just more free. It's awesome. It really is. What do you do for work here? Handyman. You're

a handyman? Yes.

From what,

dollhouses? Hey,

you shut the fuck up, dude. Whoa.

Uh-oh. We're about to have a flyweight fight of the century over here. I'll

put you in the kissing section, bro.

Wow. Taylor and Tyler, Tyler and Taylor. We'd be waiting in ounces, man, I think. Wow, this is crazy

to see. That is what I look like, though. Fuck. Do you like what you see? I kind of do, actually. I'm getting hard, man. This

is incredible.

Do

you also put your height on Tinder as millimeters to try?

No, it does say 5'8 on my driver's license, but it's secretly, not so secretly, it's 5'7 and 3 fourths, but legally 5'8. There you go. Yeah, Bob, that sucks. Shit. Fuck. The

fuck is D Madness going right now? Is somebody gonna help this fucking guy? There's nothing but stairways on the other end of that curtain, by the way. I've never seen D walk off on his own before. You

just walked a blind guy.

Holy shit. Jesus Christ. So what did you say your height was? 5'8". Get the fuck out of here. No way. Is anyone believing that? I'm literally 5'4". Tyler, why don't you Tyler, take this. Tyler. Ass to ass. That looks about right. Wow. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I don't think we need the tape measure. I kind of believe you at 5'8". I'll believe 5'8". Yeah, he's 5'8". Fuck. I'm so small. God damn it. Ian, what do you think about

this young buck? I think he's fantastic. Great energy. He's growing a mustache. He's 12. He's got a giant head. Looks like this fella over here. Everybody's all excited. He's got tattoos.