i think that love is the first dilutator of non-transactral interaction when you are observing your own purposes some of these purposes go beyond your ego. When you know this person a little bit better and you understand what they try to achieve in their life  you approve because you realize that they're in some sense serving the same human sacredness as you are. i mean the feeling itself of joy is a kind of benefit it's a kind of transaction like yes but the joy is not the point the joy is the signal that you get It's the reinforcement signal that your brain sends to youbecause you are acting on the incentives of the agent that you're part of we are

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