In Christianity there was a plan for my life. I was going to be a housewife, meet a man probably in college marry him and then he was going to support us while I like homeschool the kids. Once I realized like oh I don't need to do the wait till to kiss until marriage thing I was like okay so how I want to do sex nowHow do people do sex? So I found somebody else and then I had sex over and over again because I just became like suddenly like an extreme slut. That's a really good analogy. Okay it does feel like you're improvising your life in a way that other people don't. Well I wonder if that explains something