Episode Recap

This week on the podcast, I sat down with Dr. Jamie Goff — executive coach, therapist, and author of The Secure Leader. Our conversation goes deep into something many leaders feel but rarely explore: how our early attachment patterns quietly follow us into the workplace.

Jamie breaks attachment theory down into something extremely practical for leaders. At the core are two questions we all carry:

Am I worthy of connection?
Can I trust others to show up for me?

Our answers tend to show up at work in three ways. One of those ways is that of a “secure leader”: Grounded, steady, and empowering — the hallmark of modern servant leadership.

Leaders who do the inner work of a Secure Leader create workplaces where people can flourish.

Guest Bio

Dr. Jaime Goff is the founder of The Empathic Leader, LLC, where she specializes in helping leaders unlock their full potential through executive coaching, insightful workshops, and thought-provoking keynotes. Jaime holds a PhD in Couple and Family Therapy from Michigan State University and a graduate certificate in executive coaching from Southern Methodist University

Quotes:

“We are not prisoners to our previous patterns, because we all have the power to become more secure.”

“Your leadership is shaped long before you ever enter a leadership role.”

“To love others well as a leader, you first have to believe you are worthy of love yourself.”

“Emotional regulation is the first step toward showing up as a secure and present leader.”

“All behavior makes sense in context, especially when you understand your story.”

Takeaways:

“We are not prisoners to our previous patterns, because we all have the power to become more secure.”

“Your leadership is shaped long before you ever enter a leadership role.”

“To love others well as a leader, you first have to believe you are worthy of love yourself.”

“Emotional regulation is the first step toward showing up as a secure and present leader.”

“All behavior makes sense in context, especially when you understand your story.”

Timestamps:

00:02 Intro and podcast milestones

05:12 Meet Dr. Jamie Goff and her personal story

07:21 The “latchkey kid” upbringing and over-independence

10:55 Why she wrote The Secure Leader

13:26 Attachment theory explained

15:21 How unworthiness shapes controlling or approval-seeking leadership

18:50 Jamie’s aha moment as a young leader

21:34 Gaining awareness and deconstructing your story

24:07 Avoidant, anxious, and secure leadership styles

28:44 Trauma, triggers, and past patterns repeating at work

32:18 The cost of skipping inner work

37:49 First steps to becoming a secure leader

40:06 Where to take the Secure Leader style scan

41:37 Speed round

45:52 Jamie’s hope for more secure leadership

48:31 Leading with love and building self-worth

50:56 Final takeaway on moving slow to move fast

52:57 How to connect with Dr. Jamie Goff

Conclusion:

As we close this inspiring conversation, remember that real leadership begins within. When you commit to self-discovery, you build the foundation to lead others with empathy, purpose, and resilience. Growth is a lifelong journey where each step forward helps you make a positive impact on those around you. Lead with clarity, nurture meaningful connections, and watch your influence create ripples of transformation in your team and beyond.

Links/Resources:

Website (take the assessment)- https://drjaimegoff.com/

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjaimegoff/

Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/Secure-Leader-Discover-Leadership-Story/dp/B0FBZ39H8Y/

Email Dr. Goff: jaime@drjaimegoff.com

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