How to Communicate to Your Partner Without It Spiraling Into an Attack Defense Mode of Communication and Conflict

There is a really, it's almost like to be expected that someone will get defensive if they're on the receiving end of criticism. So what's the best way to communicate to someone without it spiralling into that attack defend kind of mode of communication and conflict? I think there are a few tips here. Ask your partner almost for permission, like when's a good time to chat? That still might, you know, send them into contraction, that still might not feel totally safe for them but it's definitely going to be better than if they feel ambushed.