3min chapter

I Am Your Korean Mom cover image

BONUS: The Coaching Elephant in the Room with Melissa Tiers

I Am Your Korean Mom

CHAPTER

The Neuroscience of Attachment

The way that I see it is, if you look at like the model of how the mind works and how the brain changes, then we start with kind of early sensory experience. That is how we kind of start scaffolding experience onto these very early primes. Warm is everything good: It's being nursed, it's being held, it’s being cuddled. Cold is the opposite; cold is bad. And so as adults say things like, what a warm person this is, or I'm warming up to this idea, or, you know, what a cold, hearted bitch,.

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Speaker 1
So, you know that, I teach out of this conceptual framework, and it is so kind of unconscious to me now, so embedded inside of me that recently, I actually contacted, you know, some people to check my work, you know, it's like, you know, I firmly believe this, and I need to check it with some other people that are privy to the same research that I've been kind of collecting and building this framework around. And, you know, just to check it, right? Because I wanted to make sure the neuroscience was solid. I wanted to make sure, you know, theoretically, it passed muster. And so, it's so funny, it is the only time in my classes that I actually draw anything, you know, so I realized this is a podcast, and you can't see my gestures. But the way that I see it is, if you look at like the model of how the mind works and how the brain changes, then we start with kind of early sensory experience, right? And that is how we kind of start scaffolding experience onto these very early primes. Now, whether that is, some people will consider that, you know, attachment style, some people will go down to the early sensory experience, like, in my classes, I'm always talking about John Varg's work with, you know, hot and cold. And if you're holding a warm cup of coffee, you know, you've heard me say this so many times, that you'll actually rate the individual or the lecturer as being a warmer person, you know, because warmth is embodied. And it starts when you're born, right? Warm is everything good. It's being nursed, it's being held, it's being cuddled. Well, that early sensory experience, right, is the foundation that then we start to grow, right? The neural network starts to grow, the schema starts to grow. And what happens is we can now as adults say things like, what a warm person this is, or I'm warming up to this idea, or, you know, what a cold, hearted bitch, you know, like, because cold is the opposite, cold is bad. So if you look at it that way, and then you start to look at how we get our problems mess, you know, how our problems mess us up. And you can say, all right, maybe an early attachment style, meaning mom maybe wasn't very warm, maybe you weren't picked up as much, maybe you weren't, you know, soothed when you were crying.

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