How to Fuck a Sand Mound

I swear to my dad, I was an astroturf when I was younger. He'd make me cut the grass with a cement bag. Dude, 40 acres of mule. All Saturday, he wake up at like 8 a.m. and then if I didn't cut behind the sand mound, which I never did,. "It's freezing real deep and comes back in the house and screams at you and your 12 brothers and sisters"