I think there's so many periods of doubt that you go through when you're really trying to make something of your life. I was like whoo one of these days I'm gonna be on a reality show which doesn't exist now but in 40 years it's gonna be my moment mom. You have talked openly about just your anxiety and struggles with money when you were younger. Did you feel protective about it because when that happened? "If I've got to get something done we're I'm going to get it done"