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Connected Families Podcast

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The Avoider, the Pleaser, the Vasulator, and the Chaos Controller

The author grew up in a home where her parents were volatile and she was frightened. She says the avoider comes from a family often like hers, with neither one of them having any experience of emotional connection with their own parents. The pleaser is also an anxious person who wants to be close to people but has a strong fear emotion on the inside. Vacillators are hot and cold; they can get very angry and distant and they'll push away.

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