Shame, Addiction, and How To Focus On Who You Are Becoming
Growth Mindset Psychology: The Science of Self-Improvement
Personal Experience with Porn Use
Sam describes his gradual shift in porn use, how ADHD and social media contributed, and the slow creeping nature of low-level addictions.
We evolved shame as a gift. A signal that whispers when we've drifted from who we might become. What if the discomfort you feel isn't the problem, but the compass?
This episode explores a surprising truth: the hardest patterns to change aren't the ones destroying us, but the ones keeping us comfortably mediocre. Yet they hold us back and sometimes shames even stops us from acknowledging they exist.
But we need to step back and ask if we are truly happy with our choices, the way we live our life and what we would like in it and wouldn't. And slowly learn how to build the healthier life we seek.
Three Actionable Takeaways:
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View shame as information about misalignment, not evidence of inadequacy—it evolved to guide you, not punish you
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Recognize that growth happens in difficulty, not comfort—the urge to escape is the moment to lean in
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Build intrinsic motivation rooted in values, not just outcomes—sustainable change comes from who you're becoming, not what you're avoiding
This episode originally aired on the Unhooked Podcast by Jeremy Lipkowitz.
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Growth Mindset Psychology:
Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement.
🛜 Website - Growth Mindset
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction to addictions
03:26 Sam's Podcast and Philosophy
05:44 Defining Growth Mindset
09:35 Sam's Journey and Personal Growth
10:26 The Power of Mindset in Education
15:33 Growth Mindset and Recovery
16:49 Neuroplasticity and Overcoming Addiction
17:38 Sam's Experience with Porn Addiction
24:17 Challenges of Identifying and Addressing Addictions
25:39 The Subtle Creep of Addictive Behaviors
26:35 The Influence of Social Media and Algorithms
27:50 The Thin Line Between Social Media and Porn
28:15 Female Empowerment or Objectification?
29:55 The Impact of Porn on Real-Life Relationships
32:41 The Role of Shame in Human Evolution
34:56 The Social Function of Gossip
36:02 The Duality of Human Nature
38:36 The Duality of Shame and Success
39:44 Empathy and Understanding Human Behavior
44:37 Embracing Our Animal Nature
46:17 Lessons from Podcasting
51:22 Final Thoughts and Future Projects
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