The Onion: A Fake News Story

When is the last time you tripped and fell flat on your face? I have an actual recollection of falling on my face, which was actually some years ago. Note to self: Don't do that if you can help it. And fair point, Angela, I would like to read to you part of my favorite fake news article ever written. Oh, gosh, you know what happens with fake news, which is that people remember it as real news and then it lives on forever.