Strategies for Dealing with Picky Eaters and Power Struggles

As I bring a third child into the world, I have a few of my own thoughts and opinions on the world of kids and parenting, for sure! But no matter how much I learn, I still have questions. And so do you! In fact, raising children – feeding them, relating to them, keeping them happy and healthy – is one of the most common topics in my DMs, and one of the most popular interview themes on our feed.

In this episode, you'll hear from some of the biggest names and brightest minds in the space – from experienced parents to accomplished scholars, doctors, bestselling authors, and more. We cover the importance of nutrition and gut health, handling picky eating, building connection, the science behind tantrums and developing brains, communication, and independence - just to name a few.

And while this episode features our most impactful segments on the topic, the full conversations from which they're pulled offer tons of additional knowledge. Listen for episode numbers between each guest rotation, or search the word "kids" on the show's website at bewellbykelly.com to find the source material and more.

On this roundtable journey, we draw insights from previous episodes featuring brilliant minds like:

• Dr. Nicole Beurkens, Healthy Kids, Happy Parents #134

• Jennifer Anderson, Bringing Joy to the Table with Kids Eat in Color #189

• Dr. Elisa Song, Whole Family Wellness: Helping Our Kids Thrive #208

• Dr. Becky Kennedy, Cultivating the Good Inside Our Kids and Ourselves #151

• Dr. Tina Bryson, Parenting & the Power of Showing Up #212

• Jenn Curtis, Using the Parent Compass: Promoting Self-Advocacy in Kids #199

• Dr. Marion Van Horn, Supporting Children’s Neural Development #74

We also cover…

00:01:00 — The Important Role Nutrition Plays in Behavior (Dr. Nicole Beurkens)

• Considering the impact of food on a child’s mood and mental health

• Getting off of the blood sugar rollercoaster 

• Examples of blood sugar spiking breakfast foods

• A growing mind and body are more sensitive to health variables  

• Benefits of protein for breakfast

• Why kids need good sources of carbs 

• Excessive additive sugar has a negative impact on the brain 

• Importance of hydration on health 

00:14:00 — Effectively Encouraging a Picky Eater (Jennifer Anderson)

• Fab 4 Under 4: A Comprehensive Guide To Feeding Your Children

• Unlocking the power of “You don’t have to eat it”

• Disengaging from the mealtime power struggle 

• Encouraging picky eaters through their interests

• Rescue snacking vs. holding your ground

• Relationship dynamics behind bedtime snacking 

• Nothing is wrong with the feeling of being hungry 

• Benefits of daytime structure for curbing cravings 

• Managing stress at mealtime 

00:25:00 — Gut Health & Immunity for Kids (Dr. Elisa Song)

• Good foods for the gut

• The important role of gut-associated lymphoid tissue (GALT)

• Risks of too much gluten protein or casein protein 

• Testing for a healthy gut microbiome in kids

• Removing emotional associations with food

• And replacing them with cause/effect frameworks

• Risks of consuming ultra processed foods

• Becoming a savvy label reader 

00:33:00 — Decoding Tantrums & Other Big Feelings (Dr. Becky Kennedy & Dr. Tina Bryson)

• Putting tantrums into context: What causes them?

• Seeing childhood as a time they’re practice their feelings

• Preparing them to effectively cope

• Untangling the energetics of a tantrum 

• Practicing co-regulation to manage big feelings

• Unlocking the ultimate control of “I won’t let you”

• Seeing and responding to children's behaviors

• The resilience and brilliance of the human brain 

• Managing a second phase of separation anxiety 

• Practicing feelings through mental reps 

• The brain is an association machine

00:49:00 — Relating to Your Child in a Meaningful Way (Jenn Curtis & Dr. Marion Van Horn)

• Questions to learn about your kids

• Read: The Parent Compass by Cynthia Clumeck Muchnick & Jenn Curtis

• Using language based in growth mindset vs. fixed mindset

• Praise the journey, not the destination

• Installing your kids with the optimism of “yet”

• Giving them power over their bedroom, wardrobe, and suitcase 

• Daily tips to bring your family together 

• Research behind the benefits of family meals

• Setting an example of authenticity 

Resources:

• Fab 4 Under 4: A Comprehensive Guide To Feeding Your Children

• Dr. Nicole Beurkens, Website: drbeurkens.com

• Dr. Nicole Beurkens, Instagram: @drnicolebeurkens

• Jennifer Anderson, Website: kidseatincolor.com

• Jennifer Anderson, Instagram: @kids.eat.in.color

• Dr. Elisa Song, Website: healthykidshappykids.com

• Dr. Elisa Song, Instagram: @healthykids_happykids

• Dr. Becky Kennedy, Website: goodinside.com

• Dr. Becky Kennedy, Instagram: @drbeckyatgoodinside

• Dr. Tina Bryson, Website: tinabryson.com

• Dr. Tina Bryson, Instagram: @tinapaynebryson

• Jenn Curtis, Website: futurewiseconsulting.com

• Jenn Curtis, Instagram: @myfuturewise

• Dr. Marion Van Horn, Instagram: @marion_vanhorn

Connect with Kelly:

• kellyleveque.com

• Instagram: @bewellbykelly

• Facebook: www.facebook.com/bewellbykelly

Be Well By Kelly is produced by Crate Media.

Mentioned in this episode:

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