Boundaries, Saying No, and Handling Toxicity

This week, we are delighted to share an episode of the 10% Happier podcast, which is hosted by bestselling author Dan Harris and features world-class insights and practices from experts in modern science and ancient wisdom. 

Dan’s guest, for the second time, is Zen Buddhist monk and Way Out Is In co-host Brother Phap Huu, who discusses his burnout and how he recovered – and how you can, too.

The episode was recorded during early summer 2025, and first released on July 2nd 2025.

Together, Dan and Brother Phap Huu discuss:

• Why people are busier and more susceptible to overwhelm than ever before 
• Why monastics aren’t immune to burnout
• The way that  busyness is thrust upon us by contemporary lifestyles, but is also a result of us running away from the things we don’t want to face
• Practical tools for addressing busyness and burnout 
• Why doing nothing is an art
• The importance of perspective – and how contemplating your mortality can provide this 
• The practice of total relaxation
• How to maintain healthy boundaries without adopting mental armor
• Ways to say no without annoying people
•  How to protect ourselves in toxic environments.

And much more.

Related Episodes:

‘The Buddhist Case for Laziness (And How It Can Make You More Productive) | Brother Chân Pháp Hữu’

‘Your Negative, Ruminating Mind: Here’s Your Way Out | Sister Dang Nghiem‘

‘The Antidote to Mindless Eating with Br. Chan Pháp Lưu’

‘Six Buddhist Strategies for Getting Along Better with Everyone | Sister True Dedication’

‘How to Suffer Well – So You Can Suffer Less | Brother Pháp Dung’

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Co-produced by the Plum Village App:
https://plumvillage.app/  

And Global Optimism:
https://globaloptimism.com/

With support from the Thich Nhat Hanh Foundation:
https://thichnhathanhfoundation.org/

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List of resources 

10% Happier with Dan Harris
https://www.danharris.com/s/10-happier 

Being with Busyness: Zen Ways to Transform Overwhelm and Burnout
https://www.parallax.org/product/being-with-busyness/  

Calm in the Storm: Zen Ways to Cultivate Stability in an Anxious World
https://www.parallax.org/product/calm-in-the-storm/ 

Interbeing
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interbeing 

Brené Brown
https://brenebrown.com/ 

‘Daily Contemplations on Impermanence & Interbeing’
https://plumvillage.org/daily-contemplations-on-impermanence-interbeing 

‘Recommendation’ (poem)
https://plumvillage.org/articles/recommendation

Thay’s Poetry: ‘Please Call Me by My True Names’ (song and poem)
https://plumvillage.org/articles/please-call-me-by-my-true-names-song-poem

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Quotes

“To cope with fears and insecurities, the premature hero has to stay busy all the time. The destructive capacity of nonstop busyness rivals nuclear weapons and is as addictive as opium. It empties the life of the spirit. False heroes find it easier to make war than deal with the emptiness in their souls.”

“There is a lot of suffering right here, right now, but it is still our responsibility to be able to see the beauty in life, to see the joy and to cultivate happiness: the little things that can spark our creativity, our foundation of love. We are not limited by suffering. We contain the potential for so many offerings that we can give to ourselves and to the world.” 

“When in chaos, come back to the fundamentals of the things that gave you joy and that gave you life.” 

“The First Remembrance is that we are all of the nature to grow old; none of us can escape growing old. The Second Remembrance is we are all of the nature to get ill; none can escape that. The Third Remembrance is that all of us have to die; none of us can escape death. The Fourth Remembrance is that everything that we cherish today is of the nature of impermanence; we will have to learn to let go. And the Fifth Remembrance is the way forward; it gives us an insight into continuation. And that is our truest belonging: our legacies.”

“Karma means action. And that action is the thought that we produce every day, the words that we speak every day, and how we behave in our way of being: the way we show up, the way we open a door, the way we tend to someone, the way we care for our loved ones or the environment. They are all our truest belongings that will be transmitted and will, in a way, be passed down from generation to generation.” 

“Everything that exists in this moment is of the nature of impermanence. Nothing can stay the same.”

“No mud, no lotus.”