A Monologue I'm Working On. You Ped Your Lentin Cloth?

Mister wizard a, mister bigsof magic boy holds out a small cardboard box with a small ribbon around it. He said, i made these for you, sir, to thank you for the magic lessons. Ii, grab him by his lapels. Don't ever, ever again challenge my power. Agnes, i'm sorry that wasn't actually directed at you. That's from a one man show i'm doing. You ped your loin cloth there. Is the name of the show? Can i get tickets? Can't you just conjure them?