Trusting Your Child's Values

i think oftentimes on the show, when tod and i talk about these things, trusting your child or helping them develop their values, and people perceive it as permissive parenting. And that can be really hard, as apparent, i'm speaking from personal experience here, to trust are kid's values, which are different from ours. So how does a parent like, know this is going on, and how do they make that shift when they are putting their agendas together? I grew up playing piano, and i hated it, never liked it. Once i quit, it was like freedom again. And i never, never looked back in any way.