Can I Hold Love All the Time?

In 20 i was with my grandmother when she took her last breath at the end of 20 15. And i had already been practising this love. So, 20 16, i started setting alarms that would go off once and once a minute for two hours. Every time that chime went off, i would shift out of being aware of the world and back into being aware of god, aware of love. If you can just be the love, there is no forgetting it. There's no coming and going or leaving it. You just be that. I didn't know it had a name until the top of 20 16,. When i found joe goldsmith, who was a christian