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The Four Horseman of the Apokalypse
The Gomens identified what they call the four horseman of the apocalypse. Criticism is when we take it upon ourselves to tell our partner what is wrong with them. Defensiveness is essentially making excuses or worse, turning it around on your partner. Contempt is looking at your partner from a superior position and imitating their voice. Nothing will erode a relationship quicker than contempt.