Pornography does not have the power to make you feel ashamed. Many of us think we're supposed to feel shame, like somehow it helps us. But don't get that confused with thinking that shame is helpful because it's not. Remember, shame causes us to hide and avoid. It doesn't help us make any progress on our pornography habit. Just shame becomes very dangerous when we start to make it mean something about us internally. We're going to talk more about that here in a minute.
In today's episode we talk about shame spirals.
It's important to stay connected to your emotions because your emotions cause your actions. Shame is not a useful emotion when it comes to quitting pornography or other habits. Shame always causes you to hide and avoid. Many people believe that shame is a motivator, when in fact it is the opposite. It is a de-motivater. You can not hate yourself into change.
Shame comes from thoughts, not from looking at pornography. Shame comes from thoughts that have the underlying message of, "there is something wrong with me".
We find ourselves in shame spirals when we 1. thing something is wrong with me 2. feel shame 3. hide and avoid. 4. view pornography to escape the shame --> and then starting the cycle all over.
Join me in todays episode to learn how to combat this shame cycle!
Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. Visit this link to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme