Thoughts to Protect Your Self-Worth

As we wrap up the content for 2025, I want to offer you some tools for managing your thoughts and beliefs about yourself, the job market, and your chances for job search success – particularly as your job search goes on longer than you expected.

This is an update of episode #23 – Attitude Check During the Job Search. I’ve developed so many more tools for helping my clients manage their mindset since 2018.

I want to start with your thoughts about how long your job search “should” be taking. Here’s what we do to ourselves: We arbitrarily pick a date out of thin air – a date by which we “will” be in our new job.

Then that date comes and goes.

We have options at that point:

a)   Pick a new, completely arbitrary date

b)   Beat ourselves up for not meeting the first completely arbitrary date

c)    Keep going with no arbitrary date in mind, getting help from a professional such as a career coach

What determines which option we will take? The thoughts we have – about ourselves, the job search, and our marketability.

a)   To pick another, completely arbitrary date, you might be thinking “I’ll work harder if I have a specific deadline to work towards.”

b)   To beat yourself up, you might be thinking “I didn’t do the right things, or enough of the right things, to get a new job.”

c)    To get the help you need, you might be thinking “I’m perfectly capable of landing a great job – I just need some help with _____.”

I’m not suggesting that the only solution is to get professional help – but I AM suggesting that the best answer is to evaluate your current job search strategy and make strategic changes that will affect your outcome. Your solution may or may not require professional support.

There are lots of rejections inherent in the job search. Lots of non-responses.

If you believe that these rejections, these non-responses, mean you aren’t adequate as a job candidate or that the job market is terrible, you are likely to either pull back on your job search efforts, or continue with your job search efforts but not show up as the best version of yourself.

Either of these options will reduce your chances for job search success, which will provide further evidence for you to believe that you are an inadequate job candidate.

What if you believed those rejections meant something better was coming along? If those non-responses meant that just wasn’t the right opportunity for you?

You would double down on your job search, knowing that it’s a numbers game and the rejections are the currency you must pay to get to the “yes” of your dream job.

It’s important to check your attitude—your thoughts about yourself—throughout your job search. Most people go into the job search with high hopes and confidence but allow the rejections and non-responses to lower their hopes and confidence.

This is optional. Here are my top five suggestions for maintaining a positive attitude throughout the duration of your job search:

1.   Set daily job search goals and reward yourself regularly for achieving those goals.

Make sure you set SMART goals that are results oriented. Don’t wait until you get that new job to reward yourself; reward yourself every week for doing what you said you would do for that week.

2.   Celebrate your “failures.”

I used air quotes because I don’t consider the rejections you will get along the way to be failures, but rather opportunities to learn and refine your strategy. Celebrate that job you weren’t offered that you didn’t really want anyway; that interview you aced but that still resulted in a rejection. It’s all part of the process.

3.   Regularly evaluate the ROI of the job-search activities you’re engaging in.

I coach my clients to come up with 4-5 job search strategies and 2-3 action steps for each strategy. Periodically, say once a month, evaluate those strategies to eliminate any that aren’t gaining traction and double down on those that are yielding the best results.

4.   Be willing to seek help with any area that is, or that you perceive might be, holding you back.

This is not a sign of weakness, but rather of strength and wisdom. If you have no idea where your problem is, I invite you to reach out to me for a complimentary consult – I’ll assess the various aspects of your job search and pinpoint where your issue might lie.

5.   When you feel like slacking off or giving up altogether, double down.

This is where the real growth happens for you – where you have the opportunity to have your own back and stick to the goal you set for yourself. This is NOT the time to throw in the towel.

A reminder that your existing thoughts have created neural pathways in your brain. You won’t erase those pathways, but you can shrink them with consistent practice of new thoughts.

In that vein, I want to offer you a “wardrobe” of possible thoughts – feel free to use these as-is, revise them to work better for you, or create totally different ones. The important thing is to a) recognize when the old thoughts come up, without judgment, and b) consciously practice the new thoughts until they create neural pathways.

If your negative thoughts center around your marketability:

“I have been highly successful as a ____ in the past and will be again.”

“I will be a valuable asset to the company fortunate enough to hire me.”

“I am very good at [name as many aspects of your work as you can; bonus points for writing them down].”

“My previous boss/coworkers/direct reports have consistently commented on my [STRENGTHS}.”

“I may be [AGE], but I still have [NUMBER OF YEARS] left to contribute.”

If your negative thoughts center around the job market:

“I know people in my field who have recently gotten great jobs.” [Bonus points if you can name people.]

“My research shows [NUMBER] of jobs open right now in my field.”

“There are jobs; I just have to refine my strategy to land a great one.”

“An evaluation of my job search strategy shows I am getting the most traction doing [ACTIVITY], so I will spend more time in this area.”

“I will seek help with my job search, starting with [RESOURCES, HOW YOU WILL RESEARCH.]”

If your job search has you thinking negative thoughts about yourself as a human:

“I am an excellent [AREA OF YOUR LIFE OUTSIDE OF WORK WHERE YOU ARE CONFIDENT IN YOUR ABILITIES].”

“I am loved by [NAME PEOPLE].”

“My friends frequently comment on my [POSITIVE ASPECT].”

“Things in my life that bring me joy include [LIST THEM; BONUS FOR WRITING THEM DOWN].”

“I am worthy. My worth is not dependent on my job title or employment status.”

The Document & Coaching Package is designed for current job seekers who want world-class marketing documents, a targeted, proactive job search strategy that gets results, and skill-building around how to network, interview, and negotiate compensation. To learn more or to schedule a consult, visit my website at https://theexclusivecareer.com/doccoach or email me at lesa@theexclusivecareer.com.