Is Your Inner Bully Holding You Back?

When was the last time you noticed your anger? Was it when you exploded at one of your children? Was it when you lost your cool at work and said something you regretted later? Maybe you got angry, had a meltdown aimed at your partner, and then that nice evening you had planned turned into a nightmare? If any of these scenarios sound similar to an event in your life, you’d probably like to know how to harness that anger. When you get angry, do you justify it? Do you think, well, I had every right to get mad when that happened? I was right and the other person was asking like a jerk.

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If you’ve been justifying your anger, you’re like a lot of people. The fact is, it’s not usually a good thing to explode at someone and lose your cool. For one thing, whether you realize it or not, losing your cool is a sign of weakness. It means you’re out of control. You’re not able to control the way you behave with other people.

A lot of people talk about being in control of your emotions. I don’t strive to be in control of my emotions, as much as I strive to be in control of how I react to my emotions.

Your emotions are the body’s way of letting you know that something isn’t right. Something isn’t sitting well with your body, heart and mind.

Your Warning Lights

It’s a lot like the warning lights on your car. If something needs attention, the light comes on to give you a heads up. Maybe the windshield wiper fluid is low. Maybe the tires have lost some air pressure or maybe the engine is overheating.

How are you going to react to any of those warnings? Are you going to explode at the first person you see? Are you going to get angry with the person at the lumber store that puts some bags of gravel into your trunk?

Of course not. You’re going to pay attention to what needs attention and then you’re going to methodically go about making the situation right.

Maybe you’ll go to your mechanic and tell him the engine light has come on and so the engine may be overheating. He’ll check it out and let you know what’s going on.

Angry And Not Sure Why?

There have been times in my life when I got angry in response to my emotions, and didn’t really even know why I was getting so mad at somebody. It turned out that I was upset about some random thing, and I took it out on one of the first people I came across.

There were times when that person was my wife or a family member. Later I didn’t feel good at all about losing my cool over something that didn’t make sense.

Do you notice a level of seething anger, somewhere below the surface of your consciousness? Does it show itself at random times, when it didn’t really make sense to get so mad?

Freedom

A few months after I began to be a daily meditator, I started to experience a level of freedom that was new to me. It was freedom from myself. Freedom from my inner bully; those voices in my head that kept telling me I wasn’t good enough, or I would be a failure, or I wouldn’t be able to earn a living.

Fortunately, I proved my inner bully wrong. I put myself through university by working three jobs. After graduation, I got a full-time job and saved my money so I could buy some income properties.

Have you listened to your inner bully and been able to move forward in spite of those voices? Have you been able to create a life you love, in spite of the odds against you?

Is Joy Missing?

Or are you in a place right now where your anger is preventing you from enjoying your life? The anger you are experiencing is coming from fear, and that fear is coming from your inner bully.

Like I said earlier, listen to your emotions, and then make the decision to push through anyway. If you have a carefully thought-out plan for your life, you’re be able to gradually step towards your goals and while you’re doing it, you’ll enjoy the journey.

You won’t enjoy the journey all the time, but if you are motivated and have the determination you need, you’ll move towards a life of joy, even if it seems slow. A lot of the time, it’s the self-work we do that helps us stay on track, and gradually achieve success.

Is anger stopping you from enjoying your life? Make the decision to keep mindfulness central in your life. Develop a daily practice of meditation and be determined to do the work that needs to be done, rather than pretending everything is fine, or covering up your emotions with alcohol, drugs, shopping, busyness, or something else.

Suggested Resources

• Book: Feel Better In Five Minutes by Amanda Hainline
• Book: Don't Bite The Hook; Finding Freedom From Anger, Resentment, and Other Harmful Emotions by Pema Chodron
• App: Insight Timer

Related Episodes

• 444 Live The Life You Love With Victim To Victor Author, Nick Santonastasso
• 386 Growing Grounded and Mindful with Sarah Bristow
• 130 Ditch Your Emotional Obesity and Deal With Your Anger Says Laura Coe

Special Offer Are you stressed and frustrated? It’s not hopeless. You can get through this. I’m Bruce Langford, a practicing hypnotist. I use hypnosis to fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. See me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘MM Session' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life. Send me an email at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com