Somatic Experiencing, Birth, Sex, & Trauma W/ Kimberly Ann Johnson #362
The Life Stylist
Attachment Theory - The Strange Situation
Attachment theory comes from something called the strange situation, which is an elaborate experiment designed by mary ainsworth in the fifties that she did in ugonda and in baltimore. The secure babies were a little distressed when the mom came. Love adduct is the wave. People who are waves are really afraid of abandonment. And people who are islands are afraid of being engulfed. They want their membrane solid.
This enlightening conversation with somatic practitioner, educator, and author, Kimberly Ann Johnson, explores the depths of the human body. From the nervous system to the genitalia (and the mental mechanics in between), how are we triggered to respond to external cues?
More recently, I've been on a mission to rewire the traditional – perhaps outdated – narrative of striving for a parasympathetic response that can lead to a numbness disconnecting us from the innate wildness we should be able to express. Kimberly was an incredible springboard to explore masculinity through the lens of the animal kingdom and our connections with predator/prey identities. Her most recent book, Call of the Wild, focuses on helping women learn how to forge a relationship with our primal power (the inner-Jaguar) and live a life of pleasure without guilt, shame, or expectations.
As the collective stumbles out from the emotional and physical wreckage of last year, Kimberly's work invites us to reanalyze how we find and interact with our community, and pivot the eternal question "What do I want in life?" into "What does life want from me?"
05:54 — Unpacking “Call of the Wild”
- How women recover from trauma differently from men
- The nervous system debunked
- Fawning vs fleeing and activating the inner-fighter
15:04 — Somatic Experiencing
- Privileging the body over the narrative
- Self-censorship and self-advocacy
- The steps you take before forgiveness
- Finding community and working through gender fears
- Heart-centered masculinity
42:30 — Approaching Shadow Work + Living for Pleasure
- Addiction to intensity and leaning into pleasure
- Why it’s OK to feel good (even if others are suffering)
- Looking for love and community
- The works of Gay Hendricks
- What does your life want from you? - VIDEO CLIP 58:17
- Learning how “to be” without pushing and striving
1:11:01 – Influences on the Nervous System
- Collagen, elastin, and your nervous response
- Switching communication channels and moving away from default patterns
- Why a parasympathetic response is not always good for the nervous system
- Trusting our wildness and not being afraid of healthy aggression
1:36:03 — Attachment Styles and Healing Within Your Relationship
- The island (avoidant), the anchor (secure), and the wave (love addict)
- Knowing who you are and sharing your code with your partner
2:04:32 — Let’s Talk About Sex
- Power-based, hot sex
- Sympathetic and parasympathetic trajectory
- Moving toward “warm sex” and the arousal wave
More about this episode.
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Resources
- Website: kimberlyannjohnson.com
- Read: Call of the Wild: How We Heal Trauma, Awaken Our Own Power and Use It for Good
- Podcast: Sex, Birth, Trauma
- Kimberly’s teachers: Tsultrim Allione, Sheri Winston, and Sri Ramana Maharshi
- Upcoming Events: lukestorey.com/events
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