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Live from Denver
Judge John Hodgman
The Raccoon in New York City
A raccoon walked halfway into our apartment in New York City, looked around, and then backed out. As it was backing out, it said, I hope you can know I can kill you at any time. That's a very diverse raccoon possession. You don't want your dogs to have hands. Hands are the tools of monsters. All the worst guys I know have hands.
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