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Love Isn't Something You Earn
We've been conditioned to think we have to earn it. But love isn't something you earn. Why do we go after individuals with all the red flags trying to earn? Or change them or be deserving of that person? I think it goes back to our upbringing. Our first models of love were the people who raised us. They weren't perfect, but we had developing brains. We could only look in life in terms of black and white. That becomes a coping mechanism that never gets revisited when they become an adult. It feels right because it matches the flavor of the trauma that you had growing up. And you're still feeling that trauma and it feels like a safety blanket,. Even