The Importance of Affirmation in Marriage

I think it goes back to that line between acceptance and affirmation. If I go to my family's house and they have a couple too many drinks, I could accept that. But if I don't affirm everything about my own family, what makes you think I'm going to affirm? What does that look like? Like for you, would you not refer to say a same couple was husband and husband or would you not use marital language in the secular society we're living in? "It doesn't make any sense"