Are You Getting Defensive?

When we are defensive, wi, you can feel it in yourself, there's an emotion that's driving the urge to explain yourself. And when we are not defensive, but explaining, it doesn't come in the same way,. from an emotional need to push that information on to the other person. So i would check in with myself and say, is there an emotion surging now? Can i feel an urge to respond that perhapss, about my emotional trigger, rather than asictal explanation her?"