Why Did She Say What She Said?

"I think she does believe what she said, which is that her pain isn't as important," he says. "You weren't upset by what happened ... You got hurt and angry by your interpretation of what she said." This sense of your pain not being seen and understood and validated goes back to when you were very small because you never need to be seen and heard and validated exactly the way they are,. He adds: Trauma doesn't have to be big, huge events, just a child not being seen, heard and understood can be wound into the child.