Northern Ireland Humor: 'He couldn't pass you a sandwich at a wake'

John Murray talks football, travel & language with home nations commentators. Liam McLeod represents Scotland after their dramatic win over Greece, Mark Poyser shows up for Wales after Craig Bellamy’s side lost to England, and Joel Taggart is on the pod on behalf of Northern Ireland. It’s Scotland vs Northern Ireland in Clash of the Commentators and suggestions welcome for our Great Glossary of Football Commentary - WhatsApp voicenotes to 08000 289 369 & emails to TCV@bbc.co.uk

05:10 Favourite experiences commentating on your country 08:35 Perils of commentating off-tube 18:10 Craig Bellamy ‘puts on show’ as Wales manager 23:10 Live commentaries & any countries they’ve not been to? 26:40 Best commentary positions in the home nations 31:25 Clash of the Commentators 36:40 Great Glossary of Football Commentary

BBC Sounds / 5 Live commentaries: Sun 12 Oct 1200 Chelsea v Tottenham in WSL, Sun 12 Oct 1430 Arsenal v Brighton & Hove in WSL, Sun 12 Oct 1700 Scotland v Belarus in WCQ, Mon 13 Oct 1945 Wales v Belgium in WCQ, Tue 14 Oct 1945 Latvia v England in WCQ, Wed 15 Oct 2000 Chelsea v Paris in UWCL.

Glossary so far:

DIVISION ONE Bosman, Cruyff Turn, Giving the goalkeeper the eyes, Hibs it, Onion bag, Panenka, Rabona, Where the kookaburra sleeps, Where the owl sleeps, Where the spiders sleep.

DIVISION TWO Ball stays hit, Coat is on a shoogly peg, Daisycutter, Has that in his locker, Howler, One for the cameras, Played us off the park, Purple patch, Root and branch review, Row Z, Stramash, Taking one for the team, That’s great… (football), Thunderous strike.

UNSORTED 2-0 is a dangerous score, After you Claude, All-Premier League affair, Aplomb, Bag/box of tricks, Brace, Brandished, Bread and butter, Breaking the deadlock, Bundled over the line, Champions elect / champions apparent, Clinical finish, Commentator’s curse, Coupon buster, Cultured/Educated left foot, Denied by the woodwork, Draught excluder, Elimination line, Fellow countryman, Foot race, Formerly of this parish, Fox in the box, Free hit, Goalkeepers’ Union, Goalmouth scramble, Good touch for a big man, Honeymoon Period, In and around, In the shop window, Keeping ball under their spell, Keystone Cops defending, Languishing, Loitering with intent, Marching orders, Nestle in the bottom corner, Numbered derbies, Nutmeg, Opposite number, Park the bus, PK for penalty-kick, Postage stamp, Put it in the mixer, Put their laces through it, Rasping shot, Red wine not white wine, Relegation six-pointer, Rooted at the bottom, Route One, Roy of the Rovers stuff, Sending the goalkeeper the wrong way, Shooting boots, Sleeping giants, Slide rule pass, Small matter of, Spiders web, Stayed hit, Steepling, Stinging the palms, Stonewall penalty, Straight off the training ground, Taking one for the team, Team that likes to play football, Throw their cap on it, Thruppenny bit head / 50p head, Towering header, Two good feet, Turning into a basketball match, Turning into a cricket score, Usher/Shepherd the ball out of play, Walking a disciplinary tightrope, Wand of a left foot, We’ve got a cup tie on our hands, Winger in their pocket, Wrap foot around it, Your De Bruynes, your Gundogans etc.