"Saint Sebastian is really just a Bored Office Twink." – R. Eric Thomas (April 2024)

Welcome to the wildly erotic, superheroic world of Saint Sebastian, who was initially martyred as a rugged Roman soldier before he blossomed into the lithe, Lana-Del-Rey-loving twink we cherish today.

Scientists now know it was the extremely gay Italian Renaissance that decided Saint Sebastian should ALWAYS be painted with skimpy loincloths and penetrative arrows, leaving 80% of any canvas to be devoted entirely to his exposèd flesh.

Along the way, Saint Seb – and the name Sebastian itself – has become a byword for "definitely gay maybe also kinky vibes" (a clunky phrase that needed a byword – thanks for that, Seb!). But how did this association with homosexuality develop?

Join our hysterically homosexual guest, R. Eric Thomas, as we uncover the truth about the OG Sebastian; his Middle Age superpowers that totally didn't stop the plague; making the career jump from Patron- to Pin-Up Saint; and finally, his reception amongst modern gays today.

Click on the paintings we discuss to follow along:

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