Reflections on Childhood and the Nature of Contrition

Contrition is love! To many this will seem to be an absurdity, but when we look not only to the writings of the fathers, but to the life of Christ himself something far more beautiful begins to emerge. Contrition, in order for it to be genuine and not to lead to despair, must be tied to a depth of love that does not allow for any other response from the heart than to weep. One of the perfect examples came tonight through the teaching of Abba Poimen. “On one occasion, as he was returning to Egypt, Abba Poimen saw a woman sitting on a tomb and weeping bitterly. He said to himself: ‘If all of the delights of the world were assembled in front of her, they could not comfort her soul, because she is mourning. So, also, should the monk always have contrition in his soul’”. This woman lost her beloved and no one and no thing in this world could prevent her from mourning his loss. For example, when a couple has been married for many years and, as Christ tells us, the two become one, the loss of this love is like the dying of part of oneself. The depth of the love is mirrored by the intensity of the experience of the loss. Similarly, a soul who not only understands that Christ is her Beloved, but has experienced it in the depths of her heart, and lives it on a daily basis, is going to experience the loss or betrayal of this love as something that pierces the heart. 

Contrary to public opinion, love is not blind. In fact, just the opposite. Love, the more that the heart has been purified and freed of selfishness and pride, is going to see things with a perfect clarity such that the individual participates in the experience of the Other. The great example of this is Mary, the Mother of our Lord. It is prophesied by Simeon that her child was destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel and that a sort of sorrow would pierce through her heart as well. Mary was not an outside observer but through her humility and love participated radically in the ministry and suffering of her son. The death of the beloved, of Love, could not help but pierce her heart, transfixing it to her son’s. Such should be our experience of contrition. The deeper our love for the Lord becomes the more we see of our poverty and of His immeasurable compassion, the more our hearts are pierced with sorrow when we turn away from Him. In this sense, nothing is small or inconsequential. We see how our hearts can betray us and betray Christ. This is part of the reality of allowing ourselves to be drawn into the mystery of the Cross; not only to allow ourselves to be stretched out in love for others, but to experience how our own betrayal and neglect adds to the poverty of a world darkened by sin. 

Weep we must because love demands it. This we must understand literally as we see Christ himself weep at the tomb of his friend Lazarus and how shaken he is when he sees the multitude that are like sheep without a shepherd, abandoned, wounded and beyond recognition. May God have mercy on us, and may our faith be such that we allow love to pierce our hearts as Christ allowed it to pierce His own.

---

Text of chat during the group:

00:13:36 Bob Čihák, AZ: P. 261, # 4

00:29:59 Maureen Cunningham: Page ?

00:34:07 Myles Davidson: Replying to "Page ?"

252 #6

00:36:02 Anthony: In reading Archbishop Raya, The Face of God. He says in Byzantine Rite, forgiveness comes in giving praise to God, in a different way than Sacramental Confession.

00:49:59 Anthony: If it's not tied to faith in God, such superattentiveness will drive you batty trying to sort what thoughts are actually yours, how culpable you are, multiplying thought on thought. Faith has to cut it off and say No more!

00:53:38 Rebecca Thérèse: It seems that the boy chose to be hit with the bowling ball. If you warned him several times, it was selfish of him to obstruct you when it was your turn. He probably never thinks of this event at all.

00:56:09 Kate : Is there a certain fear of contrition in the sense that if we really saw the truth about our sins we wouldn’t be able to bear it?

01:00:15 Anthony: St Gregory of Narek,  Lamentations, is the best book I've found to balance grief and hope. He's a guide on not being overwhelmed.

01:07:19 Rick Visser: "when he calls upon God with discernment" ??

01:09:10 Julie: I don’t know if this is related, but Fr Sophrony was asked,” give me a word for the salvation of my soul”
Without hesitation he replied.” Stand at the brink of the abyss of despair, and when you see that you cannot bear it anymore, draw back a little and have a cup of tea “.

01:13:30 Maureen Cunningham: Is your birthday soon

01:14:02 Nypaver Clan: That IS NOT old!!!!

01:15:04 Bob Čihák, AZ: You'll get used to being "old", I bet.

01:15:26 Maureen Cunningham: Both good

01:15:36 Janine: Thank you Father

01:16:15 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️