Chapter 115: Gabor Maté targets toxic triggers to transcend trauma
3 Books With Neil Pasricha
Do You Want Something and You Don't Get It?
"Can we allow them their frustration without giving them the ice cream, right? Can we say oh, you're really upset? You're really sad. You're really angry at that?" he asks. "At least acknowledge and label and articulate the emotion Exactly and give us a space for it." He says children were never meant to be brought up in isolated nuclear families.
Let’s flash back to Budapest Hungary in 1944 where a little baby boy named Gabor lay crying in his crib. He wouldn’t stop. Couldn’t stop. His mother called the doctor who said, “All my Jewish babies are crying”.
Nazis had taken over the country and killed Gabor’s grandparents in Auschwitz. Gabor’s dad was put into forced labor and his aunt was missing. Today we understand that Gabor was experiencing trauma through his mother’s stress.
His father thankfully returned after the war and when he was 12 years old, the family moved to Canada. Gabor went to the University of British Columbia before becoming a high school english teacher through the 60s and early 70s and then returned to university to become a doctor in 1977. Gabor spent over 20 years practicing family and palliative care medicine in the downtown Eastside of Vancouver -- a neighbourhood with one of the world's highest concentrations of drug addiction.
Today Gabor is the bestselling author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, Close Encounters with Addiction, When the Body Says No, Scattered Minds, Hold Onto Your Kids, and his brand new New York Times bestseller The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic World.
I bought the book when it came out from Caversham Booksellers, which is North America’s largest mental health bookstore and located in downtown Toronto. They told me Gabor had been by many times and proudly had all his books in the front window. I cracked it open and couldn't stop reading. Gabor is entrancing, passionate, and wise and I was thrilled to sit down with him at Penguin Random House headquarters during the Canadian leg of his international book tour.
We discuss: play, love, Jordan Peterson, innocence, attachment parenting, Winnie the Pooh, father-son relationships, identifying and healing from trauma, curiosity and living, shifting attitudes, formative books, and much, much more…
This conversation is a journey I don't think you'll soon forget. I find myself thinking about it nearly every day.
Let’s flip the page into Chapter 115 now…
What You'll Learn:
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Why is loss of innocence so poignant?
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Why should we not give up play?
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How is love manifested?
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What is attachment parenting?
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Why is our culture so toxic?
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Why must we let kids manifest the full range of their emotions?
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How do you develop a strong father/son relationship?
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What is trauma?
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How can we begin healing from trauma?
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How can we build better connections with our children?
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How can we make sure we are meeting our children’s needs?
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How do we balance curiosity and life?
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How should we choose to live?
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How can we learn to shift our attitudes towards events?
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://www.3books.co/chapters/115
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3 Books is a completely insane and totally epic 22-year-long quest to uncover and discuss the 1000 most formative books in the world. Each chapter discusses the 3 most formative books of an inspiring person. Sample guests include: Brené Brown, David Sedaris, Malcolm Gladwell, George Saunders, Angie Thomas, Daniels, Cheryl Strayed, Rich Roll, Soyoung the Variety Store Owner, Derek the Hype Man, Kevin the Bookseller, Vishwas the Uber Driver, Roxane Gay, David Mitchell, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, Mark Manson, Seth Godin, Judy Blume, and Quentin Tarantino. 3 Books is published on the lunar calendar with each of the 333 chapters dropped on the exact minute of every single full moon all the way up to April 26, 2040. 3 Books is an Apple "Best Of" award-winning show and is 100% non-profit with no ads, no sponsors, no commercials, and no interruptions. 3 Books has 3 clubs including the End of the Podcast Club, the Cover to Cover Club, and the Secret Club, which operates entirely through the mail and is only accessible by calling 1-833-READ-A-LOT. Each chapter is hosted by Neil Pasricha, New York Times bestselling author of 'The Happiness Equation', 'Two-Minute Mornings', and 'The Book of Awesome.' For more info check out: https://www.3books.co
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