The Words We Use Are the Least of the Cues

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Our first impressions often are linked in profile. We're trying to suss out someone's warmth and competence so we did a study in our lab where we had people come into our lab, and by the way, we didn't warn them this was happening - they were alittle bit surprised. So what i hear you saying is, the words we use is the least of the cues, yes, that people are picking up on? And this is really hard because, especially now, we're verbally communicating more than ever. It's so much written communication that we trick ourselves into thinking that's all that matters. But actually, more than ever, we're listening for cues. We're looking

The Minimalists speak with Vanessa Van Edwards about communication problems and the signals we send to others through our body language, facial expressions, word choices, and vocal inflections, and they answer the following questions:

How do I overcome the feeling of being chronically misunderstood? (02:38)

What are the four channels for cues? (03:18)

What is the importance of congruence in our communication? (04:10)

How are we most commonly misunderstood? (07:09)

What are warm and confident words? (07:50)

How do we organically incorporate mirroring into our communication? (12:45)

How can you tell if someone is actively listening to you? (15:04)

What are the two misconceptions about eye contact? (16:57)

What is “Resting Bothered Face”? (20:15)

What is “phubbing”? (24:14)

What are “invitation cues”? (27:23)

As a teenager living under my parents’ roof how do I tactfully address the conflict arising between their values and beliefs and my own that are continuously evolving at my age? (30:10)

What is “openness”? (32:24)

What is the “Platinum Rule”? (36:25)

Why is nonverbal communication so powerful? (38:00)

Detailed show notes: minimalists.com/podcast

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