Setting Boundaries for Mentors

Mentorship is a critical component of personal and professional growth. A supportive mentor enables mentees to develop critical skills, make better decisions, and achieve their goals faster by providing guidance, perspective, and encouragement along their journey. Furthermore, mentors benefit by expanding their network, reinforcing their knowledge, and deriving satisfaction from contributing to the success of others. Mentorship is a valuable, reciprocal relationship that fosters learning, development, and change for both the mentor and mentee.

In the podcast, Scott Miller shares his insight into how mentorship can impact individuals in various aspects of life. He offers personal stories and experiences, highlighting the importance of recognizing the potential mentorship opportunities that exist beyond traditional boundaries. By emphasizing the powerful and transformative effects of mentorship, Miller encourages listeners to actively pursue mentoring relationships that enrich personal and professional lives, and explains the 13 roles mentors play, based on information in his book The Ultimate Guide to Great Mentorship.

In this episode:

• Unveil the importance of mentorship and why anyone can be a mentor.
• Decode the 13 essential roles of mentors in guiding their mentees.
• Realize the value of genuine feedback and vulnerability in fostering strong mentor-mentee connections.
• Examine the lifelong benefits that mentorship can provide for you and your career.
• Identify how everything from setting boundaries to celebrating matters in the mentor-mentee relationship (and some language to help you along your way!)

00:00:00 - Introduction, Scott Miller is a multi best-selling author, special advisor on thought leadership for the Franklin Covey Company, and a globally celebrated keynote speaker. He has previously been a guest on The Brainy Business podcast to discuss his books Marketing Mess to Brand Success and Management Mess to Leadership Success. In today's episode, he talks about his new book, The Ultimate Guide to Great Mentorship. 00:06:42 - Importance of Mentorship, Mentorship is a key part of companies' employee development plans. However, most people don't know what to do as a mentor. Scott wrote The Ultimate Guide to Great Mentorship to help people become better mentors. The book outlines 13 roles that all mentors can play, which will help them ask better questions, be more patient, and be more thoughtful. 00:10:16 - Informal Mentorship, Scott shares the story of how Bruce Williams, a radio host who has since passed away, became a mentor to him without ever knowing it. This highlights the importance of informal mentorship and how people can redefine what mentorship looks like. For example, by following favorite bloggers or podcasts, those thought leaders can be a mentor to you (even if you never talk to them and they don’t know your name). 00:14:21 - The Power of Mentorship, Scott and Melina discuss the impact of mentorship on individuals and society, highlighting the importance of having a framework for effective mentorship. Scott introduces his book, The Ultimate Guide to Great Mentorship, and introduces the 13 roles a mentor can play. 00:17:32 - The 13 Roles of Great Mentorship, Scott discusses the 13 roles a mentor can play outlined in his book, emphasizing that a mentor may not necessarily play all 13 roles and why they need to adapt their role depending on the mentee's situation (you aren’t just one “type” of mentor, you need to wear multiple hats during your time as a mentor). He highlights the importance of having an awareness of these roles and how they can be used to support a mentee effectively. 00:21:01 - The Importance of Validation in Mentorship, Scott shares his personal story of being validated by a stranger at a young age, which had a profound impact on his life. He emphasizes the role of the Validator in mentorship and the power of validating a mentee's genius, skill, and talent. He provides tips for how to effectively validate a mentee and how this can be a transition point for them to move towards more effective mindsets. 00:23:05 - Scott's Six-Step Closing Process, Scott introduces his six-step closing process, which includes naming what has been learned from the mentee, validating their genius, and setting them on their way. He emphasizes the importance of taking away something from each mentor session and using it to improve oneself. 00:28:34 - Caution for the Validator, The Validator role in mentoring should be used with care. Rather than validating mentees for small actions, acknowledge their genius, and give them lifelong courage to retrieve it when they need it. 00:32:41 - The Flagger Role, The Flagger is the challenger on steroids, who stops a conversation in its tracks to challenge an idea. Diplomatically flagging issues prevents potential conflict in the future. 00:37:57 - The Boundary Setter, Setting boundaries is an uncomfortable yet essential conversation that every mentor needs to have. Mismatched or unfulfilled expectations cause most conflicts in life, and setting clear boundaries is key to avoiding any potential issues. Scott provides some sample language the listener can use in their own mentoring sessions immediately. 00:41:24 - Honing in on Boundaries, It's important to have a clear understanding of each other's boundaries in mentorship. Starting with an uncomfortable conversation about boundaries can prevent future awkwardness and allow for a more productive relationship. 00:42:53 - Importance of Situational Mentorship, Scott emphasizes the importance of situational mentorship and tailoring conversations to the mentee's needs. He suggests checking out greatmentorship.com for videos and tools, and invites people to connect with him on social media. 00:44:27 - Scott's Impact on Melina, Melina thanks Scott for being a mentor to her, and Scott reflects on how anyone can be a mentor (with or without realizing it). They encourage listeners to reflect on who has impacted their lives and consider sharing their gratitude with them. 00:45:00 - What is Mentorship?, Melina and Scott discuss the meaning of mentorship and how it can be informal and brief. They encourage listeners to reflect on the mentors in their lives and consider sharing their impact with them. 00:46:19 - Reflecting on Impactful Moments, Melina encourages listeners to reflect on small or big moments that were impactful and consider who was part of them. She suggests telling mentors how they have impacted their lives and invites listeners to connect with her and Scott on social media. 00:46:30 - Conclusion, Melina's top insights from the conversation. What stuck with you while listening to the episode? What are you going to try? Come share it with Melina on social media -- you'll find her as @thebrainybiz everywhere and as Melina Palmer on LinkedIn.

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Learn and Support The Brainy Business:

Check out and get your copies of Melina’s Books. 

Get the Books Mentioned on (or related to) this Episode:

• The Ultimate Guide to Great Mentorship, by Scott Miller
• Management Mess to Leadership Success, by Scott Miller
• Marketing Mess to Brand Success, by Scott Miller
• Fierce Conversations, by Susan Scott
• What Your Employees Need and Can’t Tell You, by Melina Palmer

Connect with Scott: 

• Scott on Instagram
• Follow Scott on LinkedIn
• Scott’s Website

Top Recommended Next Episode: Management Mess to Leadership Success, with Scott Miller (ep 69)

Already Heard That One? Try These: 

• Marketing Mess to Brand Success, with Scott Miller (ep 156)
• Overcoming Imposter Syndrome (ep 306)
• Change Management: It’s Not About The Cookie (ep 226)
• Anchoring and Adjustment (ep 11)
• Relativity (ep 12)
• On-Air Coaching Call with Mariel Court (ep 10)
• Secrets of Motivation and Incentives with Tim Houlihan (ep 109)
• The IKEA Effect (ep 112)
• Priming (ep 252)
• Framing (ep 296)
• The Brainy Benefits of Gratitude (ep 248)
• Celebrate! It’s More Important Than You Think (ep 236)
• Stressed and Overcommitted? Tips to Overcome Planning Fallacy (ep 114)

Other Important Links: 

• Brainy Bites - Melina’s LinkedIn Newsletter
• Scott’s Site: GreatMentorship.com