The Importance of Comfort in a Relationship

Aristotle and Aquinas would say that to love is to will the good of the other for their sake. So I don't will my wife's good for my sake. But if she says to you, honey, there's a certain thing that you could do for me sexually that will really turn me on... And it may not really turn you on. Are you being objectivized? Or are you doing it because you love her and because she wants it? First of all, she's asked a question in which I presumably am free to decline. As she, oh, she's not free to refuse. That's coercion and there's no room for that.