Speaker 2
a while yeah that's that's what that's what happened yeah
Speaker 1
it goes good for like the first few months and you can't keep it up I can't keep it up you know
Speaker 2
it it's what none of us can't we wait but here's how relationships work women pretend to be sexual and men pretend to be thoughtful and we can both do it for like three or four months and then our it goes to the what we're really like and then we start getting mad at each
Speaker 2
yeah why is that just human nature yeah because we both want a thing I believe men just want like sex and a connection and women want women want a connection and they'll take sex like whereas we have to like it's a problem for us we don't get it um so they we both present in a certain way and then we come to them we're like I'll give you a connection and then they go like I'll give you sex and then we and that's kind of what happens and we and it's also like new structures yeah I
Speaker 1
don't know I just after a few months I guess I don't want I don't long for a connection much anymore that's a few months I'm like I don't know sometimes you just want to go back to
Speaker 2
being alone that's the pro that's maybe the issue with uh people like us is uh it's pretty pretty good pretty fun yeah a lot of fun we got good we got good we got a full cable package up here we can entertain ourselves yeah like I was
Speaker 1
an only child for a long time I've never lived with any of my siblings up until now so I'm like pretty good at just me and my tv if I didn't have a tv I'd lose it that's
Speaker 2
the connection here I mean that's the yeah like that's a great connection I've lived with a girl my son's mom
Speaker 1
and I remember like sharing the bed was the first like whoa like this is the game was you got to find somebody to share a bed with I had my own bed my whole life yeah to share one I feel like
Speaker 2
a demotion yeah sure
Speaker 1
does now I have to share control of the remote yep and you
Speaker 2
got to wait for the bathroom it's like prison yeah what the fuck are we
Speaker 1
doing also she doesn't wait when I'm into I'm using the bathroom like this you get less privacy you get less tv time and I know to a lot of women this just sounds like immature like that's your big problem to you like that was my best friend growing
Speaker 1
yes I also like hate most of their tv shows
Speaker 2
yeah that's a problem the the we don't men and women don't have a ton of shared interests we don't wait it's like we pretend but I
Speaker 1
can do like a few date nights you know and maybe that's just me not being ready for marriage or whatever but I don't know if I will be married ready for marriage is because like I'm not gonna be able to share a tv every night for the rest of my life
Speaker 2
yeah and then it's also would you be in a relationship would you be one of those dudes who like has his own wing of the you know you need that yeah you need
Speaker 1
that I feel like and it's only fair of a woman gets that
Speaker 2
too yeah I mean I a lot of women now are saying like I don't even want to live with okay every fun time which is great yeah like yeah you're it's a smart way to approach it because it's not
Speaker 1
doesn't mean I love you less you
Speaker 2
know it's like this isn't going to help just constant yeah other person in your face is not going to make you like oh I fucking adore it's yeah
Speaker 1
and maybe that comes from like my own issues too like just like things never being stable at home yeah like these were always changing people were in another house but one like unit you know being like a perfect couple and living together from like this point until forever just seems like a crazy
Speaker 2
goal to me look if it weren't for children there'd be no I don't even think women would want to do it yeah I think it's just about safety it's about creating a stable environment for a kid now on the other hand unstable environment exhibit exhibit a unstable environment only child hot chips fucking reheating at 7-11 nothing but it's his TV's his best friend pretty good cowabunga on Netflix okay what do you and do you well you're still young enough that I wouldn't worry about it what about what I wouldn't worry about like you know I know where you're headed with all this relationship stuff it because I'm way older than you and it's still like huh huh what is this really supposed to work it's it's just it's set up for raising a kid like that's what all of that's what marriage is for it's for like legal protections in case one of you bounces and you got to pay the other person for the kids like I get it but seems sometimes it seems a little unnecessary how do you okay so you did find the kid it focused you
Speaker 1
yeah definitely
Speaker 2
so that's and you love the kid I'm assuming it's a
Speaker 1
boy it's a boy all right yeah I love my son to death yeah yeah I make sure to be home at least three to four days like during the weekdays that I'm not on the road make sure to be home and you know take him to school pack his lunch do stuff after school he's in pre-k great and so like definitely love being a father
Speaker 2
oh so you did you always think you were gonna love it yeah
Speaker 1
because this is information that I've kind of talked about here and there but never in too much detail but yeah when my son was born we weren't 100 percent sure he was mine because my son's mom and I or we had actually like just split up when she was pregnant and we're trying to get back together we're seeing each other for a little bit but they didn't work out she went to date somebody else so we weren't exactly sure who's gonna be the dad um but
Speaker 2
we handled it with the other dude like prepared to be the dad son on it did you guys oh you didn't all right so it wasn't like a cooperative situation yeah it was like I
Speaker 1
mean she was talking to me about it and I don't know I don't think that guy knew about me
Speaker 2
like you guys weren't going to the OBGYN together no as like a no no no no no what why people call a trouble yeah we're um I don't
Speaker 1
know too much about how she was handling the situation I don't think it was she was handling it too well okay uh I didn't want to get too much in her business either I just told her like you should let
Speaker 2
that other guy know say his name
Speaker 1
okay and uh I was I was like she at one point made it seem to me like that other guy like like they didn't want anything to do with it which I don't know if she was that was just her saying it was true or not but I was prepared to like be there either way oh I thought of having a baby I wanted to take the chance to be a dad but I was but I was also like well let that guy know like be 100% honest with me and with him because if he wants to be a dad I'm not gonna try to step on somebody else's toes like I'm not gonna be yeah no I'm really used to about I'll take care of your shit right yeah but no once my son was born we got like a DNA and found out for sure he was mine and so I was like happy either way and once I found out that he was like biologically mine then I was just like ecstatic you know yeah and I definitely wanted to do whatever I had to do to make sure that like
Speaker 2
it would have been cool if you guys had like a gladiator doing the other dude but like for dad shit that would have been a kind of a dope I would have taken I would have taken him out I think that's what we go in and pitch in that place um what this is a fucking broad question and probably racist do you think the expectations for the Latino community fathers is different what are the expectations because as like the way I grew mine's generational meaning my dad was from the generation of like I roof over your head and food on the table as he does that's the that's the list now the list for like the dude the guy in the fleet the white dude in the fleece is like you gotta be no
Speaker 1
I think I think the expectation for the average Latino male is like are you providing like you said a roof and food on the table and at least like being home I think I know a lot of people my age who are dads who are extraordinary dads yeah they they go above and beyond to be like a great dad and family man yeah be connected with the family spend quality time and do all that but I think all that's really expected of you like you don't even have to really talk
Speaker 2
I was like that's true well yeah come home yeah you know I mean sit there sit there you have your lap open like who needs come to a lap yeah yeah yeah yeah I think that's all that's like really expected of you guys like a Latino
Speaker 1
there which a lot I think my son's mom and a lot of people were not expecting me to pull through with that even which was fair enough I was like I said I was living in my grandma's I didn't even want to do like a real job yeah I wanted I want to be a dad on my own terms by that time my son's mom and I's relationship I don't know if I said that correctly our relationship was already like it had been going bad on and off for the past three years before my son was born once I knew he was my son once I you know it kind of hit me like I'm a father now I wanted to make decisions differently I wanted to make decisions that I won't want my son to make one day if he were in my situation decisions that he would respect so I was treated my own respect we'd have our fights and maybe sometimes I'd let my temper get the best of me she pushed my buttons a lot but
Speaker 2
for the most are you a screamer no I don't know I just like a seeder I
Speaker 1
don't know what see there means I might just say something that was kind of like hurtful okay but like not like in a like I never would like call her anything outside of her name you
Speaker 2
just say some slick shit yeah yeah you just be a comic about it yeah yeah but I always
Speaker 1
did my basic to stay respect for any time we had a fighter I always just reminded like I'm on your team we both want the same thing for our son I was like I don't want to fight with you like we just want to make sure it's a good life but I don't feel like like it was paying a lot of respect to myself to stay with her after a lot of the kind of just childish things we had put each other through so I just wanted to be a dad on my own terms I split up with her she took it pretty hard like she wouldn't let me see my son at first or like I had to I'd have to go to her house which is I guess her way of getting me to like trying to learn me back in but I didn't want to do that I wanted to fight for like joint custody but I couldn't afford lawyers I just put myself on child support so they're like Forster to let me see my son
Speaker 2
what explain that yeah like
Speaker 1
I went to the attorney general's office and like signed the paperwork to like put myself on child support so that by law she had to let me see my son great as long as I like paid the money which I had no problem giving her money like she's never been selfish or mature with money she's never been the type that if I gave her like 500 bucks and told her spend that on our son then she she wouldn't she wouldn't use a dime for herself you know yeah so I had no I had never had a problem giving her money and after a few months once my son was like because we split up when he was maybe like five months once my son was getting closer to a year I think she'd gotten over the breakup we had had her our worst fights behind us and we started working out like our whole other schedule on our own like outside of what um the child support we didn't even like go to court we went to our first court day and we worked out like a schedule and like a whole agreement before even seeing the judge so he's just like signed that
Speaker 2
you told him by this what we're doing yeah like we hit the gavel all right
Speaker 1
yeah somebody said like there's like a guy who works with the court I forgot the column but there's a bunch of just bad relationships sitting out in the hallway yeah that's funny and so I
Speaker 2
guess to get the day when I'm a shitty relationship yeah I guess
Speaker 1
to get the day when we're faster the guy will come out and just talk to each couple like you guys work anything out or you need to just you know and so we were like this is gonna fucking boy do we boy do we like 30 minutes wait so we were like now we got a we got a deal already and they're like yeah I was like all right and he just like typed it out for us like edited because there's like a there's like the basic child support agreement that like the state gives you yeah so they just go on there edit it with like a pin and they make copies of it you sign it it's like all right well you don't got to be here then and yeah we haven't seen court ever since and I get my son half the week she gets basically whatever days I'm in town my son's with me and in the minute I got to go out of town then she's
Speaker 2
so you're like raising him there are times where it's just you and your son in your house that's that's fucking adorable honestly oh I love it yeah no it's like really goddamn cute thank you you just got a lot of female fans don't fuck this other kids come in not that's great though that you may did you surprise yourself with the amount of like the way you approached it meeting did had you done anything like that in your life like had you made ethical stands in your life in the in the past
Speaker 1
maybe it's just small ones like I've talked about this on other podcasts too a lot of my family yo man don't come in here with
Speaker 2
this other podcast
Speaker 1
podcast book that that is that in the same not in the same to the piece my life together you gotta you gotta put like 17 podcasts yeah this one but a lot of people in my family were involved with like selling drugs or just like crime stuff in general and I think I was like the black sheep for never like getting involved that's funny yeah I had temptations I remember I like sold weed for like two weeks and I had no idea I knew that many people that would actually want to buy weed from him I think in like a couple weeks I made like way more money than I thought I would make feel kind of like scared at the amount of money that came that fast my cousin was the one that like hooking me up with a lot of it uh one of his buddies was and I told him like man I rather just not do it I was like I know it's like a huge pussy move to just be like all right never mind I want there's no one but I was like if if I stay used to this I'm never going to learn any real skills in the world and at around that time a lot of our relatives we're getting locked up and I was just like man I don't want to get caught and then just put our family through more like hardship yeah that's like I rather just find something else um which I think my family they didn't like a lot of my family didn't know like my mom my grandma uncles they didn't know I did that and then decided that um but I think
Speaker 2
I think they heard about it
Speaker 1
since maybe now yeah it was just like yeah what but for a long time I think they might have rather I had done that I mean now I'm sure they wouldn't wouldn't want me to do that but for a long time I was the bum of the family until a year ago so fun so it was like I don't know they were always just like get it together man get your life together and house those in my head like hey man like I made right choices all right yeah no you didn't like yeah but because you can't be like I'm not going to do this life of crime but also not do a productive life either you know what I mean yeah I was like way too