Understanding Forgiveness and Self-Compassion in relation to Procrastination

In this episode, we explore procrastination—why it happens, its effects on our well-being, and practical solutions. Whether you struggle with putting things off, worry about your child developing this habit, or just want to understand the psychology behind it, this episode delivers valuable insights.   Our guest, Dr. Fuschia Sirois from Durham University, brings over 20 years of research on procrastination to our conversation. She reveals the emotional foundations of procrastination and offers practical strategies for both parents and children. Dr. Sirois is the author of Procrastination: What it is, why it’s a problem, and what you can do about it.  

What is Procrastination?

Not all delays qualify as procrastination. Dr. Sirois defines it as unnecessarily and voluntarily delaying a task we intend to complete—despite knowing the negative consequences. This behavior stems from self-regulation challenges, where emotions like anxiety or fear of failure lead us to avoid important tasks.   Our culture says that people procrastinate because they're disorganized and lazy. After all, how hard can it really be to do a task you've committed to doing, and one that you even know will benefit you?!   But I learned through this episode that procrastination isn't about disorganization or laziness at all – it's much more about managing how we feel about tasks – and we can learn how to do this more effectively.   Those of us who don't struggle with procrastination can also do quite a bit to support the folks who do, to make it easier for them to get stuck in and be successful at the task.  

Questions this episode will answer

What distinguishes procrastination from simple delay? Procrastination isn't just delaying tasks – it's specifically postponing despite knowing negative consequences will follow. True procrastination involves three key elements:

• We delay starting or completing important tasks
• We recognize this delay will worsen our situation
• We choose immediate comfort over long-term goals

Strategic delay can be beneficial, but procrastination behaviors undermine our intentions and increase stress levels.   How prevalent is procrastination? Procrastination statistics show this habit affects millions. Approximately 20% of adults identify as chronic procrastinators. Among college students, the numbers climb dramatically:

• 80-95% procrastinate regularly on assignments
• 75% consider themselves procrastinators

These numbers reveal procrastination isn't a personal flaw but a widespread psychological challenge many people struggle with daily.   What impact does procrastination have on our health? Chronic procrastination harms both physical and mental wellbeing. Research links procrastination habits to:

• Increased headaches, insomnia, and digestive problems
• More frequent colds and infections due to weakened immunity
• Higher anxiety, persistent worry, and shame
• Greater risk of depression symptoms

Procrastination can worsen existing health conditions by delaying important medical care and prevention strategies.   How do emotions influence procrastination? Procrastination psychology reveals it's primarily about managing feelings, not time. We delay to avoid negative emotions that tasks trigger, including:

• Anxiety about potential failure
• Frustration with difficult requirements
• Boredom with mundane aspects
• Self-doubt about our abilities

This emotional avoidance creates a cycle where procrastination becomes our coping strategy, followed by guilt that makes future procrastination more likely.   Can procrastination ever be positive? While typically harmful, some procrastination patterns offer benefits when managed intentionally:

• "Structured procrastination" channels avoiding one task into completing others
• Brief delays allow creative ideas to develop subconsciously
• Some people work more efficiently under deadline pressure

These positive effects only emerge when procrastination is somewhat controlled and doesn't cause excessive stress.   What strategies help adults and children overcome procrastination? Effective Procrastination Solutions for Adults:

• Break overwhelming projects into smaller, manageable steps
• Create specific implementation intentions ("When X happens, I will do Y")
• Practice self-compassion instead of harsh self-criticism
• Use time management techniques like Pomodoro (25 minutes work/5 minutes break)
• Pair unpleasant tasks with enjoyable activities

Helping Children Develop Anti-Procrastination Habits:

• Help them identify emotions around challenging tasks
• Teach project breakdown skills with visual schedules
• Model healthy approaches to difficult tasks
• Celebrate effort and progress, not just results
• Focus on building capability rather than enforcing compliance

   

What you'll learn in this episode

How sleep procrastination sabotages productivity Discover why delaying bedtime despite needing rest creates a harmful cycle that drains energy and impairs your ability to manage tasks, emotions, and decision-making the next day.   Why perfectionism triggers procrastination habits Learn how impossibly high standards create task avoidance, procrastination cycles, and performance anxiety that prevent you from taking action on important projects.   Effective motivation through self-compassion techniques Research shows that forgiving yourself for past procrastination significantly reduces future procrastination behavior, while self-criticism actually reinforces procrastination patterns.   Practical strategies to help children overcome procrastination Discover how modeling healthy emotional regulation teaches children valuable skills for approaching challenges, building confidence, and developing lifelong productivity habits.  

Fuschia Sirois' Book

Procrastination: What it is, why it’s a problem, and what you can do about it. (Affiliate link)   Jump to highlights 02:04 Definition of procrastination 03:19 The 2 kinds of procrastination and the difference between the two 04:07 How common is procrastination? 08:03 The interconnections between procrastination and people's health 11:04  How can procrastination be linked to stress? 18:01 Bedtime Procrastination and its implication to people's health 21:25 Link then between people's emotional states and procrastination 25:42 The connections between perfectionism and procrastination 29:45 What is active procrastination and is it a good thing? 33:20 Interaction between procrastination and shame 40:42 What can we do to manage our emotions and take on tasks that are important and valuable to us 42:34 How can forgiveness and self-compassion affect procrastination 45:36 What is a paper doll diagram? 48:48 Can children procrastinate and at what age does procrastination start to show up? 50:42 Healthy ways of managing negative emotions   References Anderson, J.H. (2016). Structured nonprocrastination: Scaffolding efforts to resist the temptation to reconstrue unwarranted delay. In F. Sirois and T. Pychyl, (Eds.)., Procrastination, Health, and Well-Being (p.43-63). Academic Press.

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Blunt, A., & Pychyl, T.A. (2005). Project systems of procrastinators: A personal project-analytic and action control perspective. Personality and Individual Differences 38(8), 1771-1780.

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Giguere, B., Sirois, F.M., & Vaswani, M. (2016). Delaying things and feeling bad about it?  A norm-based approach to procrastination. In F. Sirois and T. Pychyl, (Eds.)., Procrastination, Health, and Well-Being (p.189-212). Academic Press.

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Kim, K., del Carmen Triana, M., Chung, K., & Oh, N. (2015). When do employees cyberloaf? An interactionist perspective examining personality, justice, and empowerment. Human Resource Management 55(6), 1041-1058.

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Kroense, F.M.,Nauts, S., Kamphorst, M.A., Anderson, J.H., & de Ridder, D.T.D. (2016). Bedtime procrastination: A behavioral perspective on sleep insufficiency. In F. Sirois and T. Pychyl, (Eds.)., Procrastination, Health, and Well-Being (p.93-119). Academic Press.

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Pychyl, T.A., & Sirois, F.M. (2016). Procrastination, emotion regulation, and well-being. In F. Sirois and T. Pychyl, (Eds.)., Procrastination, Health, and Well-Being (p.163-188). Academic Press.

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Sirois, F.M., Melia-Gordon, M.L., & Pychyl, T.A. (2003). “I’ll look after my health, later”: An investigation of procrastination and health. Personality and Individual Differences 35(5), 1167-1184.

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Sirois, F.M. (2016). Procrastination, stress, and chronic health conditions: A temporal perspective. In F. Sirois and T. Pychyl, (Eds.)., Procrastination, Health, and Well-Being (p.67-92). Academic Press.

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Sirois, F.M., & Pychyl, T. (2013). Procrastination and the priority of short-term mood regulation: Consequences for future self. Social and Personality Psychology Compass 7(2), 115-127.

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Wohl, M.J.A., Pychyl, T.A., & Bennett, S.H. (2010). I forgive myself, now I can study: how self-forgiveness for procrastination can reduce future procrastination. Personality and Individual Differences 48, 803-808.