The Importance of Time With a Friend

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I think that values exploration can come through spending more time with somebody. There are finite resources within my day that make it so that I have to pick one or the other at different times. When you're asking a friend not just to like be there in theory, but to actually show up for you.

Does making friends get harder as you get older? How the hell do I make friends?

According to the American Perspective Survey, May 2021, a lot of people are not satisfied with the size of their friendship group. About half of Americans (51 percent) report they are very satisfied or completely satisfied with the number of friends they have. 30 percent say they are only somewhat satisfied, and 17 percent say they are not too or not at all satisfied with the number of friends they have.

If you fall in that range of little to no satisfaction in friendships, here’s what you need to know about creating a bond.

So how long does it take to make a new friend?
-50 hours of time before you consider them a casual friend
- 90 hours before becoming real friends
- 200hours- before becoming close friends
- source: 'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships'

As the New York Times reported in 2012, there are “three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other.” Cultivating emotionally intimate relationships, in other words, takes more work than just compliments.

In this episode I sit down with my friends Krista and Tabia and we talk about our friendships, the ups, downs and the work it takes to make them work.

A special thank you to Kamil Lewis, LMFT and Danielle Byard-Jacskon, Bumble Friendship Expert for lending their expertise on forming friendships.

Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.

ZocDoc:
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https://ritual.com/lovers for 10% off your first 3 months

Follow the guests on this episode:

Follow Shan:
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Follow Krista:
https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/
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Follow Tabia:
https://www.instagram.com/tabiacharles/

Follow Danielle Bayard-Jackson
https://www.instagram.com/daniellebayardjackson/
https://www.instagram.com/friendforward/

Follow Kamil Lewis, LMFT
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