Surrender and Empowerment in Marriage

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In this episode, you'll learn how to approach finances when the wife is the breadwinner, why letting go of career ambitions for motherhood can be fulfilling and what it means to embrace different phases of life as a woman. You will understand why being a "relaxed woman" is a powerful act in today's society and how to navigate the challenges of role reversals in marriage.

Alyssa is a mother, scientist, entrepreneur, and writer with expertise in immunology, community building, and venture creation. Most recently, Alyssa spent six years in various roles at a multi-billion dollar healthcare investment firm, where she fundraised and evaluated the technological feasibility of biotech assets. During this time, she helped several people start companies, including a high-throughput wood product manufacturing business that she and her husband currently operate. Previously, Alyssa served as engineering director for the Yale Center for Biomedical Innovation and Technology (CBIT), an effort that connected Yale University and Yale-New Haven Health Center. In that role, Alyssa taught undergraduate courses, advised project teams, ran large healthcare hackathons, and managed academic-industry partnerships. 

Timestamps:

[05:12] Alyssa’s views on being “just a mother”

[06:52] Early career journey in STEM fields

[07:53] Lessons from observing career women

[08:55] Transition from academia to investment

[10:15] Impact of motherhood on priorities

[10:58] Navigating parenthood and work-life balance

[11:42] Struggles with ethical gray areas in work

[13:26] Decision to work from home as a mother  

[13:47] The challenge of quitting a high-paying job

[14:29] Understanding financial dependence

[16:05] Transitioning roles with her husband

[17:19] The impact of earning potential on women

[18:21] Misguided focus on career over family

[19:15] Financial pressures and decision-making

[20:35] Struggles with superiority and control

[21:25] Observing cultural pressures on women

[23:39] Red, black, and white phases explained

[24:31] Transformations through motherhood

[28:21] Trust and vulnerability in marriage

[29:49] Career realizations after becoming a mother

[30:38] Breaking away from external pressures

[32:09] Conversations about financial changes

[33:51] Her husband’s response to her decision

[34:20] Finding a new balance as a family

[35:37] Building confidence in her husband’s role

[36:31] Experimenting with traditional roles

[39:27] Trusting in timing and spiritual guidance

[40:59] Overcoming control tendencies in marriage

[41:50] Learning to trust her husband’s decisions

[43:19] Letting go of resentment and victimhood

[46:00] Handling failures and problem-solving

[49:44] The importance of being fully present

[50:34] Reframing mundane tasks as devotion

[52:02] Finding joy in simpler rhythms of life

[53:14] Adjusting to a slower pace with children

[54:23] Reducing friction in daily routines

[56:08] Natural sensitivity returning through slowing down

[57:10] Feeling provided for by her husband

[58:07] Using creative impulses in new ventures

[59:53] Advice for new mothers about simplicity

Check out The River Valley Collective’s Website and connect with Alyssa through The Soulful Scientist’s Substack.

Resources Mentioned:

Dr. Martin Shaw | Website

The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle | Book or Audiobook

The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle | Book or Audiobook

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This week’s episode was sponsored by Lotus Wei. Head to lotuswei.com and use the code Kelly15 to get 15% off your purchase.