Why I'm Not a Hockey Announcer — Personal Story

SEASON 4 EPISODE 32: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: Quislings. Traitors. Cowards. Capitulators. Collaborators. Fakes. Frauds. Enablers. Betrayers. Failures. Political Prostitutes.

Senators Durbin, Kaine, Fetterman, Shaheen, Cortez-Masto, Hassan, Rosen, and King need to be expelled from the Democratic party and any that mistakenly think they have a chance of retaining their seats must be primaried. Must be.

They are not progressives, they are not pragmatists, they are not even moderates.

They are fools.

Their careers must be ended. Now. Durbin, Kaine, Fetterman, Shaheen, Cortez-Masto, Hassan, Rosen, and King. Now. Done. Forgotten. Let us hear their names no more.

Last night these eight Senators voted to fold, without any pressure, without any bribe, without anything. They voted to kick millions of Americans off ObamaCare in order to reopen and fund the government – for only three months, mind you – in exchange not for magic beans but just the promise of a vote in which they’ll GET magic beans – a vote ON the health care subsidies - IF half a dozen Republicans defy Trump. A vote about magic beans. Which they won’t win.

Their rationalizations were pathetic and suggested their familiarity with the reality of the Senate, of Trump, of the Republican Party, was less than that of the average Senate Page.

What's worse is, this happens now as the reality becomes more and clear: Trump’s mind is gone. It’s so bad even The Washington Post noticed. It’s so bad The Washington Post even put it on their front page.

He’s hyping weight loss drugs. In The Oval Office. And how he and he alone can bring down their price. And a weight loss patient there to extoll weight loss drugs and say how safe they are and praise Trump’s wonderfulness… collapses. Folds. Drops, slow-motion, like a deflating inflatable tube man at a used car sales lot.

Trump – whose mind is gone - not only doesn’t help the guy on the floor… he’s offended he upstaged him. And then Trump – whose MIND IS GONE - falls asleep. For the second time.

Or as The Washington Post put it: “A Closer Look At Trump’s Apparent Struggles To Fight Off Sleep In The Oval Office” read the Post headline. “A Washington Post analysis of multiple video feeds found that the president spent nearly 20 minutes apparently battling to keep his eyes open…” 815 words follow. And four pictures. One of Trump – whose mind is gone - with one eye closed. One with one eye closed and two fingers rubbing it. One with both eyes closed. One where you can almost SEE the snoring.

Even. The Washington Post. Knows It.

Let’s step back from the nuts-and-bolts of the government shutdown to try to process how it was perceived by Trump…whose mind is gone. HE thought it would be a GOOD idea to cut off food stamps so lines at soup kitchens would get longer just as it was getting cold. He thought the correct political move as the Holidays approached was… government-sponsored starvation. He believed that the country would praise him for… gradually shutting down all air travel – including all air travel FOR HIS SUPPORTERS – first for Thanksgiving and then for Christmas and New Year’s.

He thought these were good political moves.

SPORTSBALLCENTER (30:00): Yes, legal gambling could send two Cleveland pitchers to jail for 65 years. But no, they didn't actually make a Shohei Ohtani Used Jockstrap baseball card.

B-Block (38:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Politico thinks the first thing a Mayor-Elect of New York has to do is answer questions about the 2028 Senate elections. The Breaker media newsletter finds the New York Times fricasseeing its own digital books. That's right: FIFA isn't just polishing Trump's knob, it's inventing a "Peace Prize" so it can polish it harder. And Dr. Oz wants you to lose 400 pounds by the midterms.

C-Block (55:00) WHY I'M NOT A HOCKEY ANNOUNCER: One of my favorite sportscasting stories: how my budding career as a plucky pucky play-by-play guy was thwarted when the team we were broadcasting "forgot to rent the rink" - and how I avenged myself.

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