3min chapter

Now We're Getting Somewhere cover image

18: Transitioning to Motherhood

Now We're Getting Somewhere

CHAPTER

How to Get More Support Than You Think You Need

Don't assume the level of support that other people have is enough. Get yourself more support than you think you need. Join a parenting group, even if you don't know anyone. Find role models for what it would look like to be a parent.

00:00
Speaker 1
I think there's at least four high level forms or kind of buckets of support in my mind at least. The first and most obvious one is childcare. You know, someone or some organization that does take care of your child. This could be your kind of main childcare during the week, like a nanny or a daycare during working hours. But it also might be a night nanny or a babysitter on weekends. A second form of support is what I call life care. This could be a cleaning person. We actually didn't, we cleaned our house ourselves before having kids, but after having kids, we now have cleaning people and that is amazing. Or it could be prepared foods that you pick up from the grocery store so you don't have to cook. That is another way in which I have allowed myself to be supported a lot more since having kids. So whatever supports you with simplifying and finding energy for your day to day life, I consider that this kind of second type of support. A third form of support, certainly like emotional support for you, a therapist or a coach. And a fourth thing is community support. A parenting group, I mentioned that I'm in this parenting group or a group of friends who you see regularly. I suspect you know this, Noel, but there are a lot of these groups that really come up around having newborns that you can just join, even if you don't know anyone. And you can meet a bunch of moms who also have newborns at the same age. That's just super helpful. I was in one of those when my kids were first born and then I stopped because I was like, well, that's a lot of time, I don't know. And then as I mentioned, I joined a different one when my kids were a little over two because I decided then that I needed some more parenting support. So I just lay all those out at the beginning to say, when I am talking about support, it's not just childcare. It can come in many forms. And if you remember nothing else from this podcast, remember this, get yourself more support than you think you need. I'll say it again, because it's that important. Get yourself more support than you think you need. Look how feisty I'm about this. I really feel very strongly about this one. Okay, there are a few things that I wanna say about that. While we are talking about getting yourself more support than you think you need. The first one is, do not assume that the level of support that other people have is enough. Now, while you mentioned that you don't have a lot of peers or people who you know your age, who could be role models for what it would look like to be a parent. I will say that actually a fair number, but in honesty, I didn't necessarily want what many of them were having. I didn't necessarily want them to be my role model. It looked pretty rough for many of them.

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