Shame is very different to embarrassment. It's inflicted not on, it has no base in reality. I think there's a deep loneliness to shame. We all carry it and if you talk about it, then you stop feeding it. Silence feeds shame. When I was eight my dad got caught in a car prang and the owner of the other car told my dad to F offs and that burned through to my soul full of shame. That made me realise ADHD brains can't always react appropriately when confronted with things they don't like. So now we're so careful how we speak to children as an adult. You must never be dismissive of a child or snap at them.

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