"I may have a lot more in common with someone that I don't look anything like," she writes. "What she's rebelling against a little bit is getting advice like that and wanting to feel like it should fit her better." In the tent commandments, number 10, are instructions to not covet your neighbor's stuff or your neighbor's spouse. But what she's saying and what you are kind of reinforcing is that role modeling is a form of comparison that's actually really fruitful", says Rabbi Shmuley Boteach.