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Santa Claus, I'm Me Ruining Christmas, You Fast-Eyed Corporate Stooge
Christmas isn't about toppling a dilapidated free market system built on the suffering of an abandoned underclass. It's about getting quietly aroused watching Jude Lord do Mr Knackinhead in the holiday. So I'd like to extend a warm minute and welcome to my new comrades, Dasha Downsur-Pranza Vixen, comic cupid, Donna and Bitsen. What was that? Santa, you've just smashed through the beeb's best chimney. How am I supposed to get back to lapas without my reindeer?