Is My Husband Not Handy?

"I was his little helper when i was young. I would hand him hammers and go a running things," she says of her husband, who is not handy. "And so i i said to myselfwere where am i feeling this in my body? And i located a very heavy feeling in my chest." She realized it wasn't anger but grief for what she'd missed as a child.

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Every relationship goes through five developmental stages. The first stage is typically the romance stage, also known as the honeymoon stage. However, as you become more acquainted with your significant other, you will begin to notice some differences between you and your partner. Then, as either of you attempts to return to the early ideal phase or pushes forward into some imagined future that neither you nor your partner agreed to, a power struggle may occur.

In this episode, we'll look at each developmental stage, as well as some skills you can learn to cultivate a long-lasting relationship.

Dr. Chelsea Wakefield is a couples therapist and Associate Professor at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences where she is the Director of the Couples Center. She is a popular keynote speaker and workshop leader, trains practitioners worldwide, and offers online programs in her unique approach to relationship transformation. Dr. Wakefield is the author of three books, her recent release is entitled The Labyrinth of Love – the Path to a Soulful Relationship.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode

4:53 What she learned from her parents' challenges, which resulted in their 30-year marriage ending in divorce.

8:53 Understanding the road map of intimate relationships, from enchantment to disenchantment.

14:20 Six crucial love capacities that partners must cultivate.

20:50 Recommendations for when you feel a surge of reactivity.

30:13 Communication techniques that can help people slow down.

42:35 Learn more about how Dr. Chelsea Wakefield can assist you.

Mentioned

The Labyrinth Of Love: The Path to a Soulful Relationship (Amazon affiliate link*) (book)

Negotiating the Inner Peace Treaty: Becoming the Person You Were Born to Be (Amazon affiliate link*) (book)

Ineffective Behaviors Partners Use To Cope Ellyn Bader (pdf file)