There's some line in the course where like, death is a happy price to pay if you can say, by your hand, I die brother. Like as long as you can blame someone else for it. Forgiveness is sort of a mental exercise, mercy is a place. It's like white water, like still white light infused water that you just drop the situation in and like an Alka cell sertablet, it just dissolves. And this is where it gets a little chunky funky. I feel guilty that I separated from God. I think I did something naughty in coming here and I can't handle that guilt. So not only do I feel the guilt,